The Six Hour Phone Call
Now that you know a little bit of my history with Bob we can discuss what happened last night. For the past month now Bob and I have been dating. Only a few people know this, approximately 5 (not including whomever Bob told). Now we aren't in a serious dating relationship b/c of how far apart we live. It's just an hour, but for a college student and a guy with car problems and a job, its not that easy to see eachother. For the whole year that we've known each other, I can honestly say we've seen one another 3 times. The first obviously when we met, the second when we sort of ran into each other one night at the club, and the last time was a month ago when we decided to date. We decided to date b/c hey, we have great conversation and we like each other. The only thing is that it's non-exclusive so we can be fair.
Anyways... I finally got Bob on the phone last night and what a talk we had. I called him around 9 o'clock at night and we didn't get off until about 3 o'clock in the morning. We talked about a lot of stuff. I love talking to Bob. He has the cutest, most sweetest voice ever! And he really listens and is funny and has so many interesting stories to tell. Not only that, he is so nice to me. He tells me how pretty I am and how different I am from other girls. He makes me feel so happy at times, its amazing. I think the main thing was our relationship. We tended to talk "hypothetically" alot. Example: "Hypothetically" if we were to seriously date..." "Hypothetically, if we were to get married..."
** Now I've always been brought up to be independent of men. Plus I've never had a boyfriend or anything so I have pretty low self-esteem. So I have this emotional baggage. I'm not psycho or anything..well let me explain.** So I don't really find myself attractive, but Bob thinks I am. And of course when he tells me I'm pretty or something I usually say "Yeah right.." So I'm sure that frustrates him. And since we started dating, i've been very skeptical about his true feelings for me. He seems to really care about me and want to be with me and tells me so, but I just can't believe him no matter what! I mean, I've heard constantly from my mother how men will do nothing but lie to you. What if she isn't wrong? Aren't mother's usually right? It's hard to know what to believe. Either I believe Bob, or I believe my mother. What a decision. The main thing is I'm sort of scared. I don't want my mother to be right about this, but then again it scared me if Bob really feels this way. 'Cause then, he really truly cares for me. What am i supposed to do then?! I have never had a relationship and I don't know what to do. I don't want to screw it up or anything. And I'm afraid also of hurting him, or him hurting me. PAIN SUCKS! **sighs** Bah! I'm just rambling now. I just don't know what to think, or what to feel. I want to be with Bob, and he says he wants to be with me.Am I to take the chance? Do I put my heart out on the line? Do I carpe diem?
Now that you know a little bit of my history with Bob we can discuss what happened last night. For the past month now Bob and I have been dating. Only a few people know this, approximately 5 (not including whomever Bob told). Now we aren't in a serious dating relationship b/c of how far apart we live. It's just an hour, but for a college student and a guy with car problems and a job, its not that easy to see eachother. For the whole year that we've known each other, I can honestly say we've seen one another 3 times. The first obviously when we met, the second when we sort of ran into each other one night at the club, and the last time was a month ago when we decided to date. We decided to date b/c hey, we have great conversation and we like each other. The only thing is that it's non-exclusive so we can be fair.
Anyways... I finally got Bob on the phone last night and what a talk we had. I called him around 9 o'clock at night and we didn't get off until about 3 o'clock in the morning. We talked about a lot of stuff. I love talking to Bob. He has the cutest, most sweetest voice ever! And he really listens and is funny and has so many interesting stories to tell. Not only that, he is so nice to me. He tells me how pretty I am and how different I am from other girls. He makes me feel so happy at times, its amazing. I think the main thing was our relationship. We tended to talk "hypothetically" alot. Example: "Hypothetically" if we were to seriously date..." "Hypothetically, if we were to get married..."
** Now I've always been brought up to be independent of men. Plus I've never had a boyfriend or anything so I have pretty low self-esteem. So I have this emotional baggage. I'm not psycho or anything..well let me explain.** So I don't really find myself attractive, but Bob thinks I am. And of course when he tells me I'm pretty or something I usually say "Yeah right.." So I'm sure that frustrates him. And since we started dating, i've been very skeptical about his true feelings for me. He seems to really care about me and want to be with me and tells me so, but I just can't believe him no matter what! I mean, I've heard constantly from my mother how men will do nothing but lie to you. What if she isn't wrong? Aren't mother's usually right? It's hard to know what to believe. Either I believe Bob, or I believe my mother. What a decision. The main thing is I'm sort of scared. I don't want my mother to be right about this, but then again it scared me if Bob really feels this way. 'Cause then, he really truly cares for me. What am i supposed to do then?! I have never had a relationship and I don't know what to do. I don't want to screw it up or anything. And I'm afraid also of hurting him, or him hurting me. PAIN SUCKS! **sighs** Bah! I'm just rambling now. I just don't know what to think, or what to feel. I want to be with Bob, and he says he wants to be with me.Am I to take the chance? Do I put my heart out on the line? Do I carpe diem?
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home