For my future husband . . . whomever he may be.

Last night, Christmas night, was when my heart broke. You may think it is odd and quite sad, but believe me it was good it happened. It is important it happened. If it hadn't I may not be here writing to you now. Through my sorrow I had an epiphany. You see, for the past 2-3 years (I don't quite recall, I've lost track), I've been in love with this guy from my church named Aaron. Well he never really knew about it and though I had a slight chance I suppose it was never meant to be. Last night we talked and I finally for once revealed to him my feelings. I told him everything. What i had feared the most did not happen. He did not laugh at me nor was he mean. He was shocked of course but hey I am quite shocking. hehehe. Anyways, I realized that the girl he was with he would probably end up marrying. I figure as long as he's happy, i'm happy. But because of this, my heart is finally free. I can move on. I am no longer a slave to my feelings for him. The best thing about it is that i know how wonderful Aaron is and what he means to me and that since he obviously is not the one the Lord meant me to be with, you are so much greater. Just the thought of you makes my heart jump and makes me want to leap with joy. I thank the Lord for you. Now I know what I must do. Until I finally find you I must love you by loving myself. Staying pure for you and living my life right. Most importantly I must love God. I must follow his path and do his will or I will never find you. I must ensure our future happiness. I pray that you are doing the same things for me and yourself. I'll cherish the moment when we will meet. Till then, I pray for you, and us. I love you and hope you are happy.