Voice '06 Part 2a - The Morning Half

Current mood: loved

Today was the second day of the Voice '06 Young Adult Conference. And man, was it awesome! I woke up at 7, 15 minutes before my alarm! But I stayed in bed till Rafael called me about 4 minutes after my alarm had gone off. Excitedly I prepared, thinking of a way to goth out my conference t-shirt. So basically, I wore a fishnet shirt underneath, black pants, and a brown plaid skirt. Yeah, I think I looked pretty spiffy. Definately different than jeans.

I picked up Rafael and arrived at the conference to a welcoming breakfast of eggs, sausage, bacon, bagels and the other usual breakfasty staples. It was good to sit and eat and talk with some of the other people attending the conference. Some of the young people were from Carbondale (southern Illinois) and some from Chicago too. It was a pretty spiffy conglomeration of people.

After breakfast we all filed into the sanctuary. Joe had found us by then, or should I say I found Joe by then and instead of sitting with us, he sat behind us. He claimed that it was because he was in a grouchy mood b/c he's not a morning person.

Anywho.. the sermon began and he wasn't even 5 minutes into it when I began to just bawl! Tears were streaming down my face and I started writing out a prayer to God. It was really awesome. Rick was speaking about Daddies and how God is our ultimate Daddy. This made me think of course of my daddy back home in Texas. About how much I miss him, about how much I really love him and all the things he's done for me. Then to make things even more emotional, it made me think how much more awesome then God is! How much more does He love me, and how much more does He do for me, and all of that stuff combined! It was awesome. Of course I then started thinking about how my daddy isn't saved. He hasn't accepted Jesus yet as his personal savior and that broke my heart even more! I love this man so much, he's such a good man and he doesn't even know Jesus. This man who is so important in my life is lost to a world of sin and damnation! I want so much for him to find the love of God as I and so many others have. And yet even more thoughts of love filled me up. I want to be a source by which the Lord reveals his love for him. I want my daddy to see me and see Jesus and know that being a christian is ok and it doesn't mean you have to be crazy and you don't have to hurt people. That we're real, honest genuine people too. That even when we do mess up, it's ok!

But to top it all off, I found a new level of love and appreciation for God, my Abba Father. He gave me a really great daddy. Though he's my step dad, I couldn't have had a better daddy! My dad has been there for me always. He has taught me so much, believed in me, given me everything I could have ever wanted or needed. When I couldn't talk to my mother and when I hated her, he was there to listen and encourage me. I know that he cries because he loves me, like when I moved away and when I graduated. I know he's proud of me and that he loves me. And I know that God gave him to me to fulfill all those needs I would have in my life. Before I was even born, before my brother was born, before my mother ever married my biological father, God brought my daddy into her life because He knew that I would need him. It's amazing how much God loves me. And he shows me his love through my daddy and because of my great relationship with my daddy, I can have a great relationship with my God.

I cried during the entire sermon. I wept and wept and wept. I couldn't stop myself. Some of what he said didn't apply, but all these thoughts and emotions were running through me. At the end of the service, Rick invited us to find our own little quiet areas to pray and worship. I got up and found a little corner cubby by the cross. I sat there and prayed and cried and worshipped. Before too long, a shadow came by me and someone sat down next to me. It was Joe. He put his arm on my shoulder and asked if I was ok. I told him all that I have just written about God and my daddy and then I sobbed some more. Joe didn't say a word, he just held me. Peace fell over me and love. Then a thought came to my mind: I have been searching for God, wanting Him to be real to me. Through Joe, God was revealing His love for me. It wasn't Joe who was holding me, it was God. I laughed! God had answered my prayer. In that moment, I felt like God was acknowledging me. He said that I am accepted and loved, that I am His child and that He is pleased with me. It was a wonderful moment and thank Joe for being so open to the Spirit, for being bold enough to hold me, and to care enough to come see if I was alright. God really touched me and spoke to me. I felt His love in a way I haven't felt in a long time. How great is our God?

Of course on a slightly other note, Joe held me! hehehe.