From Wallflower to Player

Yes, it is official. I have moved from being a Wallflower to a Playa! Boo yeah! hehehe. And how does this happen? Simple... Well for the past three weeks I have been quite busy up at the college. Of course you know that. I've also been not speaking to Bob, not dating or having a social life at all, and feeling pretty lonely. So I after about two weeks of debating I did something about it. I asked Mike out on that date and arranged a day for fun with my friend Jacob. Now Jacob is one of those beautiful, tall, christian guys that a girl could bring home to meet her parents and marry. He is a friend of my brother's and I remember when I first saw him. My jaw about dropped to the floor and I knew I was hooked (though I didn't know he was my bro's friend and all). But he's pretty strict about his dating and things which I totally respect, so we're just friends. I've decided that Wednesday (since that's Jacob's day off) that we'll go to the Zoo. I've been wanting to go for a while and well Bob never took me. We'll spend the morning/early afternoon there and get to know each other better. Afterhe drops me off, I'll hop in the shower, change, and head up to Denton for my date with Mike. We'll I'm hoping we can have our date Wedneday b/c i want it this week and that's the only good day for me. Since he doesn't have a car and I've been driving all over I think a rented movie and pizza at his place (you know, a cozy little evening) will be perfect. Hey we're in college and it's not like we have gobs of money! Not to make my Wednesday an more exciting, but guess who called me today? The one and only Bob. And yes, I let him have it. (This isn't the whole convo or exactly what was said, but you get the point)

Me: What in the world happened to you? **quite angry**
Bob: What do you mean?
Me: I haven't talked to you in like three weeks. I haven't heard a word from you. Where have you been? Why didn't you try to get in contact with me? Why didn't you send me an e-mail or something?
Bob: I've been busy.
Me: You've been busy? It's not that hard to send an e-mail!
Bob: You can come up to my room and see how messed up my comp is right now.
Me: Don't you even use that excuse! I know you can go down to your friend's house and use his computer. It doesn't cost that much to go to a Cyber Cafe and use their comps either. You freaking having my home address, you could have sent me a letter. Anything!
Bob: But I did call today.
Me: You better be glad you called today!
Bob: Why?
Me: Because I wasn't going to call you ever again.
Bob: Oh...
Me: Why didn't you show up that one day?
Bob: I was scared.
Me: You were scared!? You think you were scared? Don't you realize how scared I am?
Bob: I know you are scared about our relationship. That's why I didn't come. I didn't want to scare you even more.
Me: Bull!!! You think by not showing up you are helping?! You made things worse! Do you understand what you put me through?! I have been so mad. Mad at you and Mad at me! I've been so upset and so worried. Something could have happened to you and I didn't even know. And then I was totally confused! You told me you wanted to be with me, you wanted me. I wanted so much to believe you, but how can I now? (in a rage)
Bob: (Silence)
Me: Bob, I've tried so hard! I'm always the one who calls. I'm always the one who sets up days and activities for us to do something together and see each other. I've wanted to see you so bad!! It's been so hard! It seems like all I do is try and you don't do anything. You seem to not even care! (furious)
Bob: But I do care.
Me: How am I supposed to believe you. You've never proven to me that you care or that you want to be with me! I've been so hurt.
Bob: (pause) ..... I'm sorry.
Me: You think sorry is going to cut it? Sorry doesn't take away all the pain I've been through... (silence) ... you said you were scared? What does that mean? Do you want to end this? (omg, what is he going to say)
Bob: No!
Me: Well what do you want then?
Bob: (pause) .... I don't know.
Me: Well let me tell you what I want. I want to be with you. I like you alot. I've really missed you. But, I'm not ready for a serious relationship. I'm young and I want to have fun too. I want to be able to go out and have fun and I want you to go out and have fun. I want us to be together. I want there to be an "us", but not an "us" where there are strings attached to tie us down. But if this is going to work. I need to know that you want to be with me and I need you to try more. I need to see you more than once every two months. ( I don't know that i've ever heard myself speak in that kind of tone before)
Bob: This is why I like you.
Me: Why's that?
Bob: Because you state everything so clearly and make it so simple.
Me: Oh.. thanx. (smiles)

So we basically got most of our stuff worked out. Well its out in the open, we need to seriously discuss it. But what's odd is this.

Me: So Jacob is taking me to the Zoo on Wednesday since you never took me.
Bob: Which Zoo?
Me: The Ft. Worth Zoo
Bob: (laughter)
Me: What's so funny?
Bob: My friend is taking me to the Ft. Worth Zoo on Wednesday.
Me: Are you serious!?
Bob: Yes. But he's also trying to hook me up with some girl.
Me: uh-uh
Bob: Don't worry.
Me: So I'm going to see you there on wednesday.
Bob: That is a possibility

Yeah.. things just got weird!!!!!