The Enigma that is Joe
Current mood: sleepy
Joe and I were supposed to have our hang out/movie time today. The word here, is supposed to. Now I'm sure you are wondering, "who is this Joe person of which you speak?" Why don't you pull up a poof, sit back, and I'll tell you.
Joe is the brother of my friend Laura's boyfriend, Pete. I met Joe when I first moved up here to Illinois at Kelley's house, my old small group leader. One day after small group or for some sort of party, Rob and Ann (other small group leaders) came over to Kelley's with their small group, which thankfully consists of mainly boys. Of course me being new and it being a rather large group, I planted myself on the corner of a couch in the corner of the room and disappeared in order to simply watch and listen. But, with time I grew bored, leaned over to the bookshelf and pulled out a book. What book was it? I don't remember what it was called exactly, but I remember it asked a question about a fish and that the book contained a plethera of information on all sorts of trivial yet imperative type questions like, "Do fish sleep?" "Why do we (insert one of the unanswerable perponderances you might have had here that has bugged you since you first began to have the ability to put coherent and intellectual thoughts together)." You know, one of those books! Before long, someone came and sat down next to me. We didn't speak right away. But then he asked me what I was reading. I showed him and we introduced ourselves. This was Joe. He then proceeded to pull a book of the shelf and read it as well. From hence forth I liked to refer to him as, my reading buddy.
Joe and I have never really talked since then. We know each other exist in some form or other upon this spectral thing we call life on a plane that by some unnatural force shudders and contracts which inevitably brings us to the same place, the Vineyard. Then I met Laura, and eventually Pete. Laura and I now lead and small group together and because we're so involved and have become friends, I've gotten to know Pete too, which consequently thrusts Joe into my path much more frequently. This may be caused of course by Laura's and Pete's inexhaustive plight to set Joe and I up together. I believe Laura said, "if we could just get you interested and push you towards him, ya'll would be set." I have to laugh at this idea because the minute I started showing interest, Joe has opened up to me and in his own way, made himself more available to me. Or something.
It started mainly by me telling Pete to tell Joe hi after our small group for me. (Pete and Joe live together you see.) Joe quickly caught on that I was saying hello, alot! Then I thought, hmmm.. he might be getting freaked out by me and I really don't want him to become uncomfortable by my obvious and blatant interest. I took matters into my own hand and cornered him, where I then proceeded to pounce on him.. NO no no! That's not what happened at all. lol. Gotcha didn't I? Te-he! No No, I thought it'd be a great idea to introduce Joe to Clint because they both have a heart for Men's Ministry. So far that plan has been disastrous as neither of them have the guts to call the other and as Clint is always working, I can never introduce them in person at 703. This plan however gave me a reason to talk to Joe, where I then cleared up the air about what I wanted. I let him know that I would like to get to know him better and that I hope I wasn't freaking him out. He seemed pretty receptive, so yay.
Anyways.. I wanted to have a reason to call him randomly the other day, but couldn't b/c he gave me his number to give to Clint, not me to call him. In girls world, that's a no no. But from all my other sources, ie - male friends, Joe would probably not care and would just be happy that I'm calling him. This was the green light I wanted and away I went. Despite my efforts though, I wound up with only a voice mail message. Le sigh. I left one at oh.. i'm going to say 9ish. I really didn't expect to hear from him for another week or so. ... 11:30 rolled around that evening and my phone started ringing. I thought, who in the world is calling me at this hour?! Normally I don't mind, but the truth is that no one calls me then so I was confused. To my joy and excitement, it was Joe! He was shopping at Wal-Mart. Random, yes I know! But we ended up having a fun little conversation chopped full of akward silences and talking. It was only like 10 minutes, but good.
Of course there was all the stuff at the conference as well which was way awesome because it made me really think that Joe is interested also.
Tonight.. we were supposed to have our movie night where we watched a movie and talked and got to know each other. Well.. Joe forgot. Instead, he made plans with his small group and other church buddies to go to the Office for their usual Sunday evening burger. Joe invited me and I was happy to go. I couldn't bring myself to say something about our movie night, b/c I didn't want him to feel like he had to hang out with me and not his friends. Besides, probably more comfortable for him and stuff. So I went. He drove us which gave us some alone time to talk where he asked me about how I got to The Vineyard, to Ilinois, to Grad school which I told him a good hour story in about 5 minutes. He then proceeded to tell me his story in 5 minutes. Twas good.
At the Office we all ate and talked and had a good time. The waitress somehow forgot my food but by Joe's kindness, he let me have his waffle fries, as long as he could have one. He also then paid for my drink. It's funny, I've noticed over the past coupl days that when i talk about something i'm really passionate about or have a strong opinion about, Joe seems to light up and watch me as though he's really interested and excited because I am.
Afterwards, Joe took me back to church and dropped me off. We were pretty silent in the car, digesting, thinking, sleepy, nervous. There are so many times when i want to reach over and hold his hand, touch his arm, kiss his cheek, something. But I can't because again, i don't want to freak him out and we're still getting to know one another. And we haven't really talked about what it is we think or feel for each other and we haven't been willing to go there. Again, still at a very early and baby stage. Probably won't be till after summer, if ever, that we'd get together. I believe he apologized for having for about the movie or something and I then said, "well we can do it another time." At which he replied, "Whatever." Ugh.. whatever. I hate whatever. I use it all the time and I hate when he used it. Because, it is a cop out. It's avoiding making a decision and revealing that he wants to spend time with me while neither confirming he doesn't. It's so ambiguous and it's rather irritating and exciting at the same time! Bah!
At this stage, i don't know what to do next. Do I wait for Joe to make the next move or do I continue my pursuit? If I don't do anything, he may think I'm no longer interested but if I continue my pursuit, that doesn't serve my need to feel wanted. Le sigh. I don't know when I'll see him again, but I know I will. just gotta take it one day at a time.
Current mood: sleepy
Joe and I were supposed to have our hang out/movie time today. The word here, is supposed to. Now I'm sure you are wondering, "who is this Joe person of which you speak?" Why don't you pull up a poof, sit back, and I'll tell you.
Joe is the brother of my friend Laura's boyfriend, Pete. I met Joe when I first moved up here to Illinois at Kelley's house, my old small group leader. One day after small group or for some sort of party, Rob and Ann (other small group leaders) came over to Kelley's with their small group, which thankfully consists of mainly boys. Of course me being new and it being a rather large group, I planted myself on the corner of a couch in the corner of the room and disappeared in order to simply watch and listen. But, with time I grew bored, leaned over to the bookshelf and pulled out a book. What book was it? I don't remember what it was called exactly, but I remember it asked a question about a fish and that the book contained a plethera of information on all sorts of trivial yet imperative type questions like, "Do fish sleep?" "Why do we (insert one of the unanswerable perponderances you might have had here that has bugged you since you first began to have the ability to put coherent and intellectual thoughts together)." You know, one of those books! Before long, someone came and sat down next to me. We didn't speak right away. But then he asked me what I was reading. I showed him and we introduced ourselves. This was Joe. He then proceeded to pull a book of the shelf and read it as well. From hence forth I liked to refer to him as, my reading buddy.
Joe and I have never really talked since then. We know each other exist in some form or other upon this spectral thing we call life on a plane that by some unnatural force shudders and contracts which inevitably brings us to the same place, the Vineyard. Then I met Laura, and eventually Pete. Laura and I now lead and small group together and because we're so involved and have become friends, I've gotten to know Pete too, which consequently thrusts Joe into my path much more frequently. This may be caused of course by Laura's and Pete's inexhaustive plight to set Joe and I up together. I believe Laura said, "if we could just get you interested and push you towards him, ya'll would be set." I have to laugh at this idea because the minute I started showing interest, Joe has opened up to me and in his own way, made himself more available to me. Or something.
It started mainly by me telling Pete to tell Joe hi after our small group for me. (Pete and Joe live together you see.) Joe quickly caught on that I was saying hello, alot! Then I thought, hmmm.. he might be getting freaked out by me and I really don't want him to become uncomfortable by my obvious and blatant interest. I took matters into my own hand and cornered him, where I then proceeded to pounce on him.. NO no no! That's not what happened at all. lol. Gotcha didn't I? Te-he! No No, I thought it'd be a great idea to introduce Joe to Clint because they both have a heart for Men's Ministry. So far that plan has been disastrous as neither of them have the guts to call the other and as Clint is always working, I can never introduce them in person at 703. This plan however gave me a reason to talk to Joe, where I then cleared up the air about what I wanted. I let him know that I would like to get to know him better and that I hope I wasn't freaking him out. He seemed pretty receptive, so yay.
Anyways.. I wanted to have a reason to call him randomly the other day, but couldn't b/c he gave me his number to give to Clint, not me to call him. In girls world, that's a no no. But from all my other sources, ie - male friends, Joe would probably not care and would just be happy that I'm calling him. This was the green light I wanted and away I went. Despite my efforts though, I wound up with only a voice mail message. Le sigh. I left one at oh.. i'm going to say 9ish. I really didn't expect to hear from him for another week or so. ... 11:30 rolled around that evening and my phone started ringing. I thought, who in the world is calling me at this hour?! Normally I don't mind, but the truth is that no one calls me then so I was confused. To my joy and excitement, it was Joe! He was shopping at Wal-Mart. Random, yes I know! But we ended up having a fun little conversation chopped full of akward silences and talking. It was only like 10 minutes, but good.
Of course there was all the stuff at the conference as well which was way awesome because it made me really think that Joe is interested also.
Tonight.. we were supposed to have our movie night where we watched a movie and talked and got to know each other. Well.. Joe forgot. Instead, he made plans with his small group and other church buddies to go to the Office for their usual Sunday evening burger. Joe invited me and I was happy to go. I couldn't bring myself to say something about our movie night, b/c I didn't want him to feel like he had to hang out with me and not his friends. Besides, probably more comfortable for him and stuff. So I went. He drove us which gave us some alone time to talk where he asked me about how I got to The Vineyard, to Ilinois, to Grad school which I told him a good hour story in about 5 minutes. He then proceeded to tell me his story in 5 minutes. Twas good.
At the Office we all ate and talked and had a good time. The waitress somehow forgot my food but by Joe's kindness, he let me have his waffle fries, as long as he could have one. He also then paid for my drink. It's funny, I've noticed over the past coupl days that when i talk about something i'm really passionate about or have a strong opinion about, Joe seems to light up and watch me as though he's really interested and excited because I am.
Afterwards, Joe took me back to church and dropped me off. We were pretty silent in the car, digesting, thinking, sleepy, nervous. There are so many times when i want to reach over and hold his hand, touch his arm, kiss his cheek, something. But I can't because again, i don't want to freak him out and we're still getting to know one another. And we haven't really talked about what it is we think or feel for each other and we haven't been willing to go there. Again, still at a very early and baby stage. Probably won't be till after summer, if ever, that we'd get together. I believe he apologized for having for about the movie or something and I then said, "well we can do it another time." At which he replied, "Whatever." Ugh.. whatever. I hate whatever. I use it all the time and I hate when he used it. Because, it is a cop out. It's avoiding making a decision and revealing that he wants to spend time with me while neither confirming he doesn't. It's so ambiguous and it's rather irritating and exciting at the same time! Bah!
At this stage, i don't know what to do next. Do I wait for Joe to make the next move or do I continue my pursuit? If I don't do anything, he may think I'm no longer interested but if I continue my pursuit, that doesn't serve my need to feel wanted. Le sigh. I don't know when I'll see him again, but I know I will. just gotta take it one day at a time.
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