The Eyeliner Boy: Part Deux
Current mood: content

Last week after the eyeliner boy and I danced, we broke off to spend time with your friends. But as the night waxed on, Lori had to leave and where I should have left as well, I was not quite ready to. I floated about the Highdive trying to decide where I wanted to be. I eventually made the decision to go out back onto the patio, see what was going on out there, and if nothing too interesting was happening, I would leave. However, as I stepped out onto the boarded flooring of a crowded porch, I felt a hand slide smoothly across me side.

It was him. We smiled at each other and he asked if I would sit with him and his buddies. I met many of his friends and we all sat and chatted. Uncomfortable as I am in groups of people, let alone, new people, I quietly sat and observed. On occasion I threw in some commentary to the bunch and spoke one on one with others. But it was just nice to sit there, be included, and speak with the Eyeliner Boy. But it got late, and I have an early morning class and had to go home.

Being able to go to SubV is one of the things that gets me through my week, aside from my always awesome Small Group on Friday, and church on Sunday. But this week, I was more excited than usual. I wanted to see the Eyeliner Boy again. So as the week passed by and Tuesday came speedily up, the butterflies in my stomach hatched and fluttered with an ever growing malcontent.

Where last weeks music kicked so much ass and I spent a majority of my time thrashing and twirling about the dance floor, this week was much different. The music was good, but my soul and body was not in the mood to dance to it. It didn't feel right and that's ok. Had the Eyeliner Boy not been there and had I not had two drinks, I do not believe I would have had as good a time.

As soon as I got there I ran into the EB (Eyeliner Boy). A rush of glee ran down my spine and I beamed. He immediately welcomed me and asked me to join his group. He got me a chair that at first I wasn't sure about. It's rather difficult sitting in a corset, so I perched. Aww.. Rene would be so proud of me. At first we all just sat and talked, though that night was not nearly as lively. EB told me how he had a rough week, again. Apparenlty he had heat stroke and had to go to the hospital for a couple days. He also quit his job and got another one. To top it all off he was leaving his apt and looking for another one. This is why I hadn't heard from him all week.

I really only danced to a couple songs the entire evening. That's ok, I enjoyed just being with EB. I would walk back towards him, or "strutted" as he called it. I can't help it, it's fun to be cute and it's easy to feel that way when someone you like, tells you that you are. As much as he walked around talking with other friends and people, he always came back to me; to sit with me, to look at me, to compliment me, and talk with me. I guess I'm just not really used to that much attention from someone I like in return.

Nevertheless after two drinks I was feeling rather spunky. Had I not had them would I have acted the way I did around EB? Would I have been so open, forward, and honest? I don't feel I did anything to compromise who I am or what I believe, but I hope I did not give the wrong impression of myself. I don't know why I'm talking about this.. I had a really good time.

It was nice sitting next to him, having him slide his fingertips across my back between my shoulder blades. To feel the tingly sensation run through my side as his hand slid to hold me. It's been so long since I've had someone welcome my presence and my affection, to return it with the same intensity and to make an effort towards my happiness. I felt comfortable and wanted. I didn't have to be afraid if he would push me away or twinge at my caress. I could openly express what I felt and allow him to do the same. It's been so long. I haven't been close with someone in that way in months. It was refreshing and exciting. I felt no pressure and I felt no embarrassment.

It's funny how you can look at a person and when they smile back at you, your face burns and your heart races. It's funny how their scent lingers on your clothes and in your soul. You can always feel the way their warm breath felt against your cool skin, the brush of soft lips on the palm of your hand and the way your fingers intermingle with one another, exploring the possibilities within their grasp. Vulnerable yet strong. These moments fade away so quickly, a mere sigh amongst the wind. But as rare and delicate as they may seem, fleeting in the flash of life. It's important to enjoy them, to not deny the reality of who we are. To take each moment as a blessing for yourself and for another. To learn, to grow, to be.

The EB made his intentions known. He wants to spend time with me away from SubV. He wants to take me out for dinner and a movie once he's all settled once again. He likes my style, continues to confess how beautiful I am, and insists that I'm a great dancer. Supposedly we're doing something Monday, on Labor Day. We'll see what happens.

Love, Peace, Happiness, and Joy to all my lovelies. May you ever be blessed and find favor. Remember to be who you are and above all, Carpe Diem!