Taking Charge
Current mood: Powerful!

An old buddy from Texas and I have been talking recently. Just keeping in touch, talking about nothing, and discussing relationship issues. It's been fun. It's a shame I didn't get a chance to know him so well while I was in Texas. Nevertheless, our conversations are always good and meaningful. I learn a lot from him and I hope I help him out too. I think I do. Because of our conversations, I feel encouraged to take a little more charge and not to be so passive when it comes to want I want in a relationship. What is it that I want? I want to be friends again with Joe. To really be friends and to not care or think about us ever being more. I want to go have coffee with Tom, the Bus Guy and get to know him better. I want to talk to EB and find out what is really going on. (There are some things I haven't asked, but am curious to know.)

Last night after church I had a talk with Joe. I told him I was angry with him and like most men, he didn't know why exactly. I was angry because while we had agreed to be friends, I'm the only one who makes an effort. He then informed me that his lack of action is because he doesn't really know what to do about 'us.' In his mind, if there is going to be any type of friendship or possible romantic relationship he wants to be the one to take initiative and whatever. .... I love that idea! I encourage him to take charge and lead. I want him to do that. But the problem is... he's not doing that! And from the world I've come from, if the man isn't going to lead, move over buddy and hand me the wheel! I get that from my mother.

Now that I know that's how he feels I totally relinquish any initiative towards that aspect of our friendship. However, he has to invite me to stuff, call me on occassion, and for goodness sake.. say hi to me at church! Because if he doesn't, how else am I going to know? So the Joe situation is wrapped up in a nice neat little package. I hope.

As for Tom, I seriously had no i dea when if ever I would see him again. After talking with Luke (my friend from Texas) I was concerned I might have given him the impression that I was not interested. That of course is not the case at all! In my mind I therefore concocted a plot that the next time I saw him, I'd be sure to really let him know and invite him to coffee or something. .... that opportunity came earlier than I expected. This morning as I was getting on the bus, Tom magically appeared out from inside the Bus Stop! I was so excited. Again we began to talk through a sea of people, making anyone within our vacinity very uncomfortable. But screw them, I was getting to talk to Tom. We talked about our busy weekends where I mentioned that I spent all of Sunday at church. A part of me really wanted to see how he'd react. Happily, he professed that he was a Christian as well and too enjoyed the Vineyard. We will be getting coffee soon, but before we could exchange numbers or concrete plans the bus arrived at my regularly scheduled stop. I should see him tonight though on the ride back home.

The EB situation is a little more complex and will have to wait for another blog. Till then, adieux my beloved readers. Fare thee well in all they endeavors.