Swimming and Talking
I went over to Brek's today. We'd been wanting to have our 'talk' and since plans fell through for Saturday, we had it today. He was so exhausted from working all weekend he called in sick and invited me over to go swimming. He didn't get up till noon which is really bad for Brek. He's used to getting up hella early and he thinks if he sleeps in past 10, that's a whole day wasted. So I got there around 2 and we watched Gilmore Girls for a while. That is a really good show! I quite enjoyed it. I might have to start watching it now. Oh! I learned one of his tickle spots. His feet are way ticklish! It was hilarious! I just happened to rub up against the bottom of his foot and he flipped out. Mwa ha ha! Then Brek did more laundry (I guess he needed to do laundry really bad) and we kind of stared at each other for a bit. Finally, we went swimming. That was one of the whole reasons I was there and I was wondering if we were ever going to go swim. We did.
Now I really don't like my body and I didn't want him to see me in my bathing suit. It's a two peice, boy shorts with a strapless tube top thingy. I actually look alright in it, but I could look so much better. I should really start working out again. I want to get a better top, something that covers more stomach and one of those swim bottoms with the skirt attached to it. I just look better in skirts. Nonetheless, we went swimming. Have I mentioned how hot Brek is? I mean.. damn! He is incredibly yummy! How a guy like that is attracted to me.. the Lord only knows! He's got these wonderfully strong arms, and his back! **melts** Oh so scrumptios. He's a masterpiece. I wish I looked half as good as he does. mmmm. Brek... **Drools** hehehe. O.k., back to the swimming. We swam around and talked. Just chilling. He teased me a lot, threatening me with dead june bugs and the like. I splashed him and pushed him against the hot brick wall. We just kind of messed around and floated around. Nothing exciting. He might throw a big Friday the 13th Birthday Party at his place, which I think would be hella awesome! His birthday is August the 6th. I wonder if I should get him anything. **ponders** Intriguing.
After about an hour and a half of swimming we headed back inside. We both changed and then plopped on the couch. We really weren't out there for very long but we were both drained. **shakes her fist at the sun** Meh... It was time to have our talk. It was something I didn't want to do, but it was something that had to be done. I didn't want to ruin what we had. So I took my mother's advice and let him speak first. I wanted to know how he felt and what he was going through. Basically he talked about how he was so confused and he was being stubborn. He knew he hadn't been doing what he should. He likes me a alot, he's attracted to me, and he has so much fun whenever he spends time with me. But of course, he isn't doing what he should, and he knows it deep down in his heart. I then told him everything I had been feeling; such as the whole being exactly like my relationship with David, my selfish feelings and desires, my hurt and pain. It's nice to know that he listens and he understands. We both realize as much as we want it to work out, we both know it's not going to. In the long run, I'm going to grad. school next year. I'm more than likely going to be half way across the country if not on the other end of it. He doesn't want to stand in the way of my career. He says I have a talent, a gift, and I have to pursue it. It's nice to be able to find someone who understands me so well, and appreciates me so much. But it's true... in the long run, there would be too many complications. That's one of the things that helps me when I think about it. It still hurts, but I know it'll get easier.
We set boundaries.
1. It's o.k. to casually hold each other while we're out in public (i.e. The Church or whatever) We can put an arm around one another like buddies do. We can hug each other when we greet or say bye to each other, or if the other one is hurting and needs a hug. However, we can't hold each other too closely, caress each other, or anything like that.
2. Hello and Goodbye kisses are allowed. "Making-out" is not.
3. It's ok to grab one another by the hand if trying to get through a crowded group of people or not wanting to lose the other. It however is not kewl to hold hands while walking down the street or for extended periods of time.
4. If we're having a movie night or just crashing on the couch, it's o.k. to rest one's head on the other's shoulder, lap, tummy as long as it's done in a friendly fashion. I don't know if cuddling is allowed, but I'm sure it's not.
5. Biting is allowed! Unless accompanied with nibbling, licking, or kissing.
6. It's o.k. for me to sit in Brek's lap. It is not, however, okay for me to sit on top of Brek and straddle him.
It was a good talk. We're going to be good buddies and friends for a long time. I'm glad that I have him as a friend. Lord, give me strength.
I went over to Brek's today. We'd been wanting to have our 'talk' and since plans fell through for Saturday, we had it today. He was so exhausted from working all weekend he called in sick and invited me over to go swimming. He didn't get up till noon which is really bad for Brek. He's used to getting up hella early and he thinks if he sleeps in past 10, that's a whole day wasted. So I got there around 2 and we watched Gilmore Girls for a while. That is a really good show! I quite enjoyed it. I might have to start watching it now. Oh! I learned one of his tickle spots. His feet are way ticklish! It was hilarious! I just happened to rub up against the bottom of his foot and he flipped out. Mwa ha ha! Then Brek did more laundry (I guess he needed to do laundry really bad) and we kind of stared at each other for a bit. Finally, we went swimming. That was one of the whole reasons I was there and I was wondering if we were ever going to go swim. We did.
Now I really don't like my body and I didn't want him to see me in my bathing suit. It's a two peice, boy shorts with a strapless tube top thingy. I actually look alright in it, but I could look so much better. I should really start working out again. I want to get a better top, something that covers more stomach and one of those swim bottoms with the skirt attached to it. I just look better in skirts. Nonetheless, we went swimming. Have I mentioned how hot Brek is? I mean.. damn! He is incredibly yummy! How a guy like that is attracted to me.. the Lord only knows! He's got these wonderfully strong arms, and his back! **melts** Oh so scrumptios. He's a masterpiece. I wish I looked half as good as he does. mmmm. Brek... **Drools** hehehe. O.k., back to the swimming. We swam around and talked. Just chilling. He teased me a lot, threatening me with dead june bugs and the like. I splashed him and pushed him against the hot brick wall. We just kind of messed around and floated around. Nothing exciting. He might throw a big Friday the 13th Birthday Party at his place, which I think would be hella awesome! His birthday is August the 6th. I wonder if I should get him anything. **ponders** Intriguing.
After about an hour and a half of swimming we headed back inside. We both changed and then plopped on the couch. We really weren't out there for very long but we were both drained. **shakes her fist at the sun** Meh... It was time to have our talk. It was something I didn't want to do, but it was something that had to be done. I didn't want to ruin what we had. So I took my mother's advice and let him speak first. I wanted to know how he felt and what he was going through. Basically he talked about how he was so confused and he was being stubborn. He knew he hadn't been doing what he should. He likes me a alot, he's attracted to me, and he has so much fun whenever he spends time with me. But of course, he isn't doing what he should, and he knows it deep down in his heart. I then told him everything I had been feeling; such as the whole being exactly like my relationship with David, my selfish feelings and desires, my hurt and pain. It's nice to know that he listens and he understands. We both realize as much as we want it to work out, we both know it's not going to. In the long run, I'm going to grad. school next year. I'm more than likely going to be half way across the country if not on the other end of it. He doesn't want to stand in the way of my career. He says I have a talent, a gift, and I have to pursue it. It's nice to be able to find someone who understands me so well, and appreciates me so much. But it's true... in the long run, there would be too many complications. That's one of the things that helps me when I think about it. It still hurts, but I know it'll get easier.
We set boundaries.
1. It's o.k. to casually hold each other while we're out in public (i.e. The Church or whatever) We can put an arm around one another like buddies do. We can hug each other when we greet or say bye to each other, or if the other one is hurting and needs a hug. However, we can't hold each other too closely, caress each other, or anything like that.
2. Hello and Goodbye kisses are allowed. "Making-out" is not.
3. It's ok to grab one another by the hand if trying to get through a crowded group of people or not wanting to lose the other. It however is not kewl to hold hands while walking down the street or for extended periods of time.
4. If we're having a movie night or just crashing on the couch, it's o.k. to rest one's head on the other's shoulder, lap, tummy as long as it's done in a friendly fashion. I don't know if cuddling is allowed, but I'm sure it's not.
5. Biting is allowed! Unless accompanied with nibbling, licking, or kissing.
6. It's o.k. for me to sit in Brek's lap. It is not, however, okay for me to sit on top of Brek and straddle him.
It was a good talk. We're going to be good buddies and friends for a long time. I'm glad that I have him as a friend. Lord, give me strength.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home