On my Mind....
Man.. I've been doing really well lately. I've been so busy and so focused I haven't had time to really think about guys. Sure I would like to date and such, but it hasn't bothered me or anything. Now that the show is up and running and I have some free time. It's like BAM and all those emotions and such come back. I've been thinking about Brek mostly. I was talking with Poe and I told him about how we met, some of the things we liked to do, and the difference between what we had and how some of my other relationships had been.
Of course it didn't help going to visit my friend AJ and he asks about Brek. Everyone always asks about Brek, "Are you still seeing that one guy.. the strong guy, the rocker guy, Brock.. Bret.. what's his name? The guy with the goggles." Le sigh. I was doing really well on getting past all that. But now that I'm moving, all those emotions have hit me even more. I want to get ahold of him and tell him I'm leaving. I want to see him one last time. I want to be able to say good-bye. I don't want to be living the next 20 years of my life regretting that I never got a chance to reconcile our friendship. I don't want there to be any enmity between us.
I wonder if he ever thinks of me. I wonder if he hurts when he thinks of me. I wonder if he's angry with me. I wonder if he's forgotten about me. I wonder if he's too proud to talk to me. He must see that I call him. What does he do and think when he sees my number flash onto his phone. It's been a year since we've met, it's been 10 months since he last held me, it's been 9 months since we've last spoken. It's been so long, this silence between us and the pain and longing for Brek still remains.
I know that Brek and I wouldn't work out in a relationship. He's not motivated enough and already settled in his life. I have a lot going for me and I'm going to California and then to Illinois. I'll be gone for 3 years, minimum! Plus, though we're the same religion and believe in the same way, he isn't the spiritual leader that I need. I know this and understand this. I just want my friend back. And if not back, I want to be able to think about him and be happy about the time we shared and not have this pain haunt me for the rest of my life.
http://us.f1.yahoofs.com/users/1659581/e9b5/__sr_/2b38.jpg?phqlDeCBbAo_qWMd
Man.. I've been doing really well lately. I've been so busy and so focused I haven't had time to really think about guys. Sure I would like to date and such, but it hasn't bothered me or anything. Now that the show is up and running and I have some free time. It's like BAM and all those emotions and such come back. I've been thinking about Brek mostly. I was talking with Poe and I told him about how we met, some of the things we liked to do, and the difference between what we had and how some of my other relationships had been.
Of course it didn't help going to visit my friend AJ and he asks about Brek. Everyone always asks about Brek, "Are you still seeing that one guy.. the strong guy, the rocker guy, Brock.. Bret.. what's his name? The guy with the goggles." Le sigh. I was doing really well on getting past all that. But now that I'm moving, all those emotions have hit me even more. I want to get ahold of him and tell him I'm leaving. I want to see him one last time. I want to be able to say good-bye. I don't want to be living the next 20 years of my life regretting that I never got a chance to reconcile our friendship. I don't want there to be any enmity between us.
I wonder if he ever thinks of me. I wonder if he hurts when he thinks of me. I wonder if he's angry with me. I wonder if he's forgotten about me. I wonder if he's too proud to talk to me. He must see that I call him. What does he do and think when he sees my number flash onto his phone. It's been a year since we've met, it's been 10 months since he last held me, it's been 9 months since we've last spoken. It's been so long, this silence between us and the pain and longing for Brek still remains.
I know that Brek and I wouldn't work out in a relationship. He's not motivated enough and already settled in his life. I have a lot going for me and I'm going to California and then to Illinois. I'll be gone for 3 years, minimum! Plus, though we're the same religion and believe in the same way, he isn't the spiritual leader that I need. I know this and understand this. I just want my friend back. And if not back, I want to be able to think about him and be happy about the time we shared and not have this pain haunt me for the rest of my life.
http://us.f1.yahoofs.com/users/1659581/e9b5/__sr_/2b38.jpg?phqlDeCBbAo_qWMd
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