Am I a Bad Person?
Last night I went to a party with my brother. There were a few people there I knew and who I consider my friends. However, there were also people who I would prefer not to spend any time with whatsoever. Most of these people tend to be younger, between 17-21. They are very immature, self centered, 'pretty', and preppy. For about an hour and a half of the party, I sat curled up in a big comfy couch by myself and watched music videos. Jonathan had invited me upstairs with everyone else, and I had gone, but I was there for about 5 minutes and couldn't stand it. So I ventured back to the safety of the comfy chair. Like I said, I sat there for about an hour and half. I was quite sleepy by then and the effects of alcohol was slowly wearing away. I decided I would leave at about 1:30 so I could go to bed. But then Sam, Jill, and Danni wanted to go swimming. I figured, why not?! Jill let me borrow one of her bathing suits and we went for a swim. It was nice. I love the water. Sometimes I think I should have been born a fish. It was fun. This was that small group of people I enjoyed hanging out with and didn't mind staying longer. Of course since I was more tired.. about an hour into it, I was exhausted and ready to go home.
Sam came over today for lunch as usual. I love my brother, but there are so many things about him that bother me sometimes. The way he talks to me sometimes is really rude and disrespectful. For the most part I don't mind and I know he's kidding, but there are those rare occasions when I'm just not in the mood and it hurts. I suppose today was one of those days. Last night he was showing Jill and Lisa his flyers for his upcoming show. Artistically they are good.. but my conscious was disturbed. The flyer is posted above. (If you're interested, please come to the show.. it's going to ROCK!) I just don't like it. I think it's embarassing, degrading, and giving a wrong image of what Sam should be representing. I see his life and I know he is trying, but I don't think he's doing what he should be doing.
It's fine to go to parties and hang out with your friends, it's ok to drink on occasion, it's ok to have a drink a day, it's ok to go dancing, it's ok to listen to and appreciate different types of music, it's ok to have lots of friends, it's ok to have friends of the opposite sex. I however don't think it's ok to get smashed two to three times a week, I've even been feeling convicted and don't want to get drunk anymore. Perhaps once in a blue moon, but not often! I don't think that it's good to get drunk with your buddies and then get naked. That just leads to thoughts and things happening. I don't think it's good to be going to parties practically every night and neglecting your work or to deny yourself rest to make up for your extravagancies. I don't agree with dating several people at once. I don't agree with premarital sex, and I don't think that just because you don't go 'all the way' it's still ok. I don't like the idea of men who think it's ok for girls to like girls, or girls dating other girls. It's just gross! It's perversion! I don't like guys who lust after women for their bodies and talk about simply how 'hot' a girl is. Sure they could be talking about her personality that makes her so attractive, but the context I'm referring to is the lustfull.
I don't want you to think that this all has to do with Sam. Some of it does apply, some of it comes from my own experience, and some of it comes from other people I know or have observed. I don't know.. something is going on with my heart and things are changing. This blog has gone a totally new direction than from what I was meaning to talk about. When Sam came over today for lunch, we talked a little about the party. He looked at me and told me I was boring last night. I played it off like I had simply been tired, but I knew he meant it. That hurt. I can't help that I don't approve of the type of people he chooses to hang out with and their lifestyles. Does that make me a bad person? I know I'm not better than them, I have my own faults as well. If I don't want to spend my time with people who annoy or aggravate me, then I think I shouldn't have to. If that makes me a prude, stuck up, or stand offish.. then I guess that's what I am.
Last night I went to a party with my brother. There were a few people there I knew and who I consider my friends. However, there were also people who I would prefer not to spend any time with whatsoever. Most of these people tend to be younger, between 17-21. They are very immature, self centered, 'pretty', and preppy. For about an hour and a half of the party, I sat curled up in a big comfy couch by myself and watched music videos. Jonathan had invited me upstairs with everyone else, and I had gone, but I was there for about 5 minutes and couldn't stand it. So I ventured back to the safety of the comfy chair. Like I said, I sat there for about an hour and half. I was quite sleepy by then and the effects of alcohol was slowly wearing away. I decided I would leave at about 1:30 so I could go to bed. But then Sam, Jill, and Danni wanted to go swimming. I figured, why not?! Jill let me borrow one of her bathing suits and we went for a swim. It was nice. I love the water. Sometimes I think I should have been born a fish. It was fun. This was that small group of people I enjoyed hanging out with and didn't mind staying longer. Of course since I was more tired.. about an hour into it, I was exhausted and ready to go home.
Sam came over today for lunch as usual. I love my brother, but there are so many things about him that bother me sometimes. The way he talks to me sometimes is really rude and disrespectful. For the most part I don't mind and I know he's kidding, but there are those rare occasions when I'm just not in the mood and it hurts. I suppose today was one of those days. Last night he was showing Jill and Lisa his flyers for his upcoming show. Artistically they are good.. but my conscious was disturbed. The flyer is posted above. (If you're interested, please come to the show.. it's going to ROCK!) I just don't like it. I think it's embarassing, degrading, and giving a wrong image of what Sam should be representing. I see his life and I know he is trying, but I don't think he's doing what he should be doing.
It's fine to go to parties and hang out with your friends, it's ok to drink on occasion, it's ok to have a drink a day, it's ok to go dancing, it's ok to listen to and appreciate different types of music, it's ok to have lots of friends, it's ok to have friends of the opposite sex. I however don't think it's ok to get smashed two to three times a week, I've even been feeling convicted and don't want to get drunk anymore. Perhaps once in a blue moon, but not often! I don't think that it's good to get drunk with your buddies and then get naked. That just leads to thoughts and things happening. I don't think it's good to be going to parties practically every night and neglecting your work or to deny yourself rest to make up for your extravagancies. I don't agree with dating several people at once. I don't agree with premarital sex, and I don't think that just because you don't go 'all the way' it's still ok. I don't like the idea of men who think it's ok for girls to like girls, or girls dating other girls. It's just gross! It's perversion! I don't like guys who lust after women for their bodies and talk about simply how 'hot' a girl is. Sure they could be talking about her personality that makes her so attractive, but the context I'm referring to is the lustfull.
I don't want you to think that this all has to do with Sam. Some of it does apply, some of it comes from my own experience, and some of it comes from other people I know or have observed. I don't know.. something is going on with my heart and things are changing. This blog has gone a totally new direction than from what I was meaning to talk about. When Sam came over today for lunch, we talked a little about the party. He looked at me and told me I was boring last night. I played it off like I had simply been tired, but I knew he meant it. That hurt. I can't help that I don't approve of the type of people he chooses to hang out with and their lifestyles. Does that make me a bad person? I know I'm not better than them, I have my own faults as well. If I don't want to spend my time with people who annoy or aggravate me, then I think I shouldn't have to. If that makes me a prude, stuck up, or stand offish.. then I guess that's what I am.
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