Can't Sleep...so I'm Thinking.
Yep.. it's almost one in the morning and I can't sleep. Funny.. I had even contemplated going to bed at 10:00 but then a movie I wanted to watch came on and I decided to stay up.
Now.. I have a throbbing headache, the kind that creeps up the back of your neck and then settles at the base of your skull right above your neck. You rub your back neck musces which increases the pain and yet somehow at the same time aleve's it slightly while you massage it. However, this is hard to accomplish properly on ones own self as it merely stresses out the neck muscles more. I tried some stretching and a bit of light exercise, hoping to divert my attention and focus. Yet again, no success in getting rid of the headache. At a final attempt, I made my way through the darkness that enveloped my apartment and through the silence that accomanies it. In the kitchen, I made myself a small screwdriver. Not so much an "Anna Marie" style drink, but enough.
I'm hoping the alcohol will kick in any second here and I'll be able to fall asleep or the pain dissipate. Preferably... both. So till then.. I'm awake. Here. Been thinking a lot today. Thinking about life. Things I have to accomplish within the next week. Plans that I have for break. The friends and people I miss back home. Surprisingly.. I've made a discovery and realization. I don't know what triggered it really.. or how it happened, but Praise Jesus. He is so faithful and so awesome. The past couple months I have reverted to my old self of being totally boy crazy and chasing after guys. And of course, it has caused me a lot of grief and wasted a lot of my time and energy. I've been praying to be back to that place in my life where I was over the summer and before I left Texas.
I was in a period of self evaluation and growth. I was discovering who I was as a person, a woman, a christian. Within this place, I learned to love myself, to appreciate and seek after God, to enjoy my life as a single person, to understand that there is more to life than merely existing, that I'm capable of awesome things thanks the God, and that I'm happy with who I am, where I'm at, and where I'm going. It was a wonderful place to be and I had lost that. But... God has brought me back. How? I don't know.. He just did. And I'm so excited about it! I feel that I can live my life again, focus and do what I need to do, do what I want to, and live to my full potential.
Now I am not totally there I guess.. perhaps I am. I was thinking, I don't really know what's next. I don't know what I'm going to be doing this summer. I don't know where I'll be going. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me. But, whatever it is. It's going to be fun, productive, and full of growth. I'm excited about it. I just gotta make it through this next week.
"Lord give me strength. One step at a time... One foot in front of the other... Lord, lead me where you will. "
Yep.. it's almost one in the morning and I can't sleep. Funny.. I had even contemplated going to bed at 10:00 but then a movie I wanted to watch came on and I decided to stay up.
Now.. I have a throbbing headache, the kind that creeps up the back of your neck and then settles at the base of your skull right above your neck. You rub your back neck musces which increases the pain and yet somehow at the same time aleve's it slightly while you massage it. However, this is hard to accomplish properly on ones own self as it merely stresses out the neck muscles more. I tried some stretching and a bit of light exercise, hoping to divert my attention and focus. Yet again, no success in getting rid of the headache. At a final attempt, I made my way through the darkness that enveloped my apartment and through the silence that accomanies it. In the kitchen, I made myself a small screwdriver. Not so much an "Anna Marie" style drink, but enough.
I'm hoping the alcohol will kick in any second here and I'll be able to fall asleep or the pain dissipate. Preferably... both. So till then.. I'm awake. Here. Been thinking a lot today. Thinking about life. Things I have to accomplish within the next week. Plans that I have for break. The friends and people I miss back home. Surprisingly.. I've made a discovery and realization. I don't know what triggered it really.. or how it happened, but Praise Jesus. He is so faithful and so awesome. The past couple months I have reverted to my old self of being totally boy crazy and chasing after guys. And of course, it has caused me a lot of grief and wasted a lot of my time and energy. I've been praying to be back to that place in my life where I was over the summer and before I left Texas.
I was in a period of self evaluation and growth. I was discovering who I was as a person, a woman, a christian. Within this place, I learned to love myself, to appreciate and seek after God, to enjoy my life as a single person, to understand that there is more to life than merely existing, that I'm capable of awesome things thanks the God, and that I'm happy with who I am, where I'm at, and where I'm going. It was a wonderful place to be and I had lost that. But... God has brought me back. How? I don't know.. He just did. And I'm so excited about it! I feel that I can live my life again, focus and do what I need to do, do what I want to, and live to my full potential.
Now I am not totally there I guess.. perhaps I am. I was thinking, I don't really know what's next. I don't know what I'm going to be doing this summer. I don't know where I'll be going. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me. But, whatever it is. It's going to be fun, productive, and full of growth. I'm excited about it. I just gotta make it through this next week.
"Lord give me strength. One step at a time... One foot in front of the other... Lord, lead me where you will. "
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