Gave in...
Current mood: satisfied

I went for a little walk the other evening. It was so beautiful I couldn't resist walking across the most lustrious of campuses. There was a breeze so divine, it smelt of summer and memories. The only bugs were minute lightning bugs to light my path. Something about the night was magical and my skin tingled. Despite all the wonder about me, there was a small pang on lonliness within my heart.

I was thinking of the Kyrouac brother back in Illinois who said he liked me, who at one point in time seemed to always be there right behind me, who told me he'd call while I was away in NY. But it's been a month and a half and I had yet to hear from him. One part of me didn't care but the quieter meeker side was hurt. The One part of me knew this would happen and was not surprised, but the other part had a small hope that with my absense he would realize how much I actually meant to him.

Needless to say, I had been resolute not to be the first to call. That when I got back home to Illinois I'd say hi to him at church, but make no effort to be his friend as he does with me. But something about that night was different... something felt off, and I felt a tug stronger to make an effort. At this, he could not say, "Well you never called me either." "I figured you had moved on." I felt that I needed to make my case known. To remind him that I still existed and cared.

The phone rang in the silence of the twilight, my heart beat furiously as I waited for him to answer. When I thought he wasn't going to, he did. At first he seemed dissoriented as though he didn't know who it was.Then it dawned on him that it was me. He seemed happy that I called, but I could tell that other people were over. I asked if I'd called at a bad time. He responded that some friends had come over, but they were uninvited. Therefore, he was free to talk. He asked me about NY and I told him as much as I felt necessary. I asked him about his summer and he told me of his struggle to find a job and about his job. He announced that he had made Straight A's this past semester and I was proud of him. We talked of cats, we talked of my ventures in Texas, I told him how much I missed our church and my small group. It was nice to hear his scratchy voice, distinct, and difficult to understand via phone.

Before we could really get into our conversation I found that all I needed to do was done. Without much ado, I told him that it was nice to talk with him and that he should feel free to call me sometime. He said he would and I bid him goodnight. He seemed rather taken aback by my abrudt departure, which I think is good. I did not exhaust our encounter and left plenty for the wanting.

The ball is now in his court, it's just a matter of me finding the strength to keep my fingers away from the speed dial. Heh.

Currently listening : Spin By Lifehouse Release date: By 11 October, 2002