Endless Feeling copyrighted by: Anna Marie Coronado

I have sat here all alone,
For days it seems like,
Maybe even years.
No one to show me comfort,
Not even a smile passes my way.
Why am I so alone?
I have asked myself this before.
Perhaps it's me.
Perhaps it's the people around me.
I look in the mirror.
I see myself.
Maybe I'm not actually alone.
I lean closer to look.
The glass is cracked and broken.
Now there are thousands of me.
Staring blankly ahead.
Now the thousands of me are just as alone,
Can that be?
We sit here.
Alone.

This is my poem that will soon be published in Letters from the Soul.

*Letters of the Soul is a working title only. The actual title of the book may differ.

Woot! A Published Writer in the House!

Yes.. I'm proud to announce that I'm being published! I wrote this little poem for poetry.com one night and really didn't think much about it. Then a few weeks later, like the other day, I receive and e-mail, then a letter in the mail, saying that my poem has been selected as one of the few that they will be publishing in their new book! They people at poetry.com took my poem, read it, studied it, discussed it, and love it! I couldn't believe it when I first read it. At first I thought, "They get millions of poems, probably thousands a day. Mine isn't special." But they said only so many get published and they thought mine had special creative and artistic qualities! WOW! I didn't even think the poem was that good! lol. Not only are they publishing my poem, I have a chance to win money upwards to $10,000, but I'm being sent a formal invitation to a Poets Symposium being held this November in Hollywood! This just totally blows my mind. I never thought that I would be published until I was like in my forties or something. And here I am, published at 19! What an acheivement, what an honor!

Behold the Cuteness that is Me!!!

That is right.. you heard me.. I'm am a cutie! lol. Yeah like not too long ago and for a period that seemed to never want to end.. I went through one of thos "Ugly Duckling" periods.. mine was more like an era. But anyways... as I've been living here in my 19th year I've been noticing alot of happy changes. I look in the mirror and instead of gasping with disgust.. I can proudly flash myself a smile and contently gaze at my splendor. Also I have this surge of self confidence that is ubelievable. So I've noticed that I'm actually being noticed when I walk through the mall, down the halls of UNT, and other such places. I've been told how cute I am probably at least fifty times since last week! Ok now.. all of this attention is getting to my head. I think I am becoming an ego maniac! Like I have this weird dillusion that every guy I pass has to look at me, and has to think I'm cute. Well why not?! Though I'm getting a rather large head I'm actually pretty modest and humble about it. You can ask my friends.. my constant self bashing really isn't a self esteem booster. Oh well... it's nice to know that I'm not this horrible beast anymore but a raging beauty. hahaha. Now to talk about myself some more..
If you must know the best qualities of me.. here they are.
1. I have great legs! Did you know I was a leg model once?
2. My hair is just fab and since I always try something new with it it's got it's own cuteness and spunkyness all its own.
3. My deep eyes and sparkling smile are more than enough to fill 5 books of poetry. Anyone care to try?
4. I am quite the fashion diva as well. I know what looks good, but don't necesarrily stick with fashion trends.
5. Feet.. i know most people wig out about feet. But come on people, mine are just too adorable!
well.. the list goes on and on... hehehe.. If you want to know more about me.. simply check out my website!
My Home Page!

Love Struggle

So you know I've been going to the Pentecostal Church for about a month now right?... yeah. But did I ever tell you about the guy there who I just absolutely am in love with? His name is Eric, he's not really too much taller than me but tall enough, has dark hair, beautiful eyes, a great smile, a cute little scar on his nose, pale skin, a cute bum (honestly, i've never looked at that part until him), and this funny little voice. Whenever I see Eric my head just goes in a twirl, I get butterflies in my tummy, my knees get weak, and my heart skips a beat (though that might have been caused by the hole there... nevermind). Plus I get really giggly too. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen upon the face of the earth. I mean WOW! hehehe. Anyways.... I've been head over heals in love with Eric for like two maybe three years now. I told him once, but he just sort of ignored me after that, plus he had a g/f at the time. It's understandable... So now that I have come back to the church what would you know... they have broken up only a couple weeks ago. I feel bad, sort of, because his X is a great girl and one of my friends. But there is still that plus because hey..he's available now! Now is my chance.. I need to give him time to recoop from her then I'll go in for the kill. See I don't want to rush into anything because I don't want to be just a rebound girl, I want to be "The One!" So I'm waiting... but wouldn't it be nice to have someone while I wait?

Heart Surgery

A little less than a week ago I had an operation to correct my ASD (aseptal defect). I had been looking forward to that day for months and when the day finally came, I was stoked. Everyone wanted to know whether or not I was scared, but honestly, I really wasn't. There was a small fear factor that things could go seriously wrong and the doctor might have to open my chest up to fix me, but the chances of that were way slim. The doctors were going to do a heart cath and through that place the "Amplatzer" into my heart to close the hole. We went to the hospital and I got all prepped. The last thing I remember when they gave me the sleepy medicine was kissing my dad. After that nothing until I woke up and they told me to breathe some grape scented oxygen (which is way gross!) I awoke struggling to breathe, shivering uncontrollably, and with the worst upset stomach ever. After about an hour of the nurses monitoring me they finally sent me up to my room where i was in complete bed rest for about 6-7 hours. I couldn't move my legs at all basically just lay there in a half daze. My parents were there and they talked to me and slowly i began to wake up. Then my brother and his fiance arrived and brought me a card and a pegasus beanie baby. Mom made me eat some food and i just sort of lay there. I tried to take a nap but I couldn't. Then my friend John arrived from church to pay me a visit. I still felt really wierd and it took forever for me to get warm and for my stomach to settle down. I hate when my stomach is upset. It's on of the worse feelings ever. Eventually everyone had to leave, but Mom stayed with me. We watched "Anna and the King" and then the nurses came in to let me get up and move about. It was so nice to be able to do things on my own again and have the ability to move my legs. It was late into the evening by then and I figured I should sleep. I lay there for a couple hours quite uncomfortable. At about 2 am I was finally drifting off when the nurse woke me up to give me my antibiotics. She had to give me a new IV but to make up for it I got a milk shake! Way better than any Dairy Queen could ever make. I drifted in and out of sleep, probably getting about 2 hours total. Morning came and the doctor arrived. I had another chest x-ray (probably my 4th or fifth of the year), an EKG, and an echocardiogram. This is when the most painful part of the entire visit occured. The nurses came in to remove my bandages. You want excruciating pain... try that. It felt like my skin was being ripped of my legs. It was horrible! But they came off, the doctor inspected me, and we were free to leave. I've been sleeping ALOT since then and slowly making a good recovery. Well not really slowly. Friday night, the night after my surgery, I was at church again praising the Lord. Thank you Jesus! I am whole!