A Few Thoughts
Lately I have experienced some interesting situations where relationships are involved. Some good and some not so good. There is this break up thing with Sam and Kelly, my parents (well.. I can't really tell if they have a marriage or not), and all my friends are getting engaged and if not, they are married or at least dating someone. It's kind of odd. At the same time though, I've made some really great friends, strengthened some bonds, and had quite a few conversations to make any persons head spin. The most important ones lately have been those with my sister-in-law (sister forever!) Kelly. And through our talks we have come to a conclusion that with the more and more I grow and experience, the more and more I believe might be true.
There are two types of marriages that we've discussed. The one where you marry a person whom you absolutely adore, are crazy about, can't get enough of, and with whom you have this fiery passion and connection (and I do not simply mean in a physical way). With this type of relationship, they usually start quickly and out of the no where. It's like .... BAM! Sadly however, that tends to be the way the marriage runs as well. BAM! and it's over. Something happens and the two people are torn apart leaving gaping wounds with a pain that will haunt the individuals for years to come! When I think of this type of relationship, I think of Brek. Brek and I just came together one night and it was electric. We had so much fun together and spent a lot of time together. There was just something about Brek that made my blood boil and stirred the fire inside me like no one has ever done. Even when I was angry or mad at him, I could just look at him and melt. But before I knew it, Brek was gone and out of my life. And just as I said before, leaving a gap in my heart that I am unsure if anyone will ever be able to fill.
Because Kelly and I have both experienced this type of emotional lashing we've become paranoid and wonder if it's even possible for two people to be married and stay married, happily. I've thought about the people I know around me, and honestly, I haven't found one couple like that. Then, Kelly brought up an observation she had from the people she knew. A marriage that lasts and is loving, is not the one when you marry the person who brings th passion out of you. It is when you marry the person who you are comfortable with, who you are safe with, who brings stability, loyalty, and dependability. This person does not get you going like the first. The love between you and this person is more gentle, soft, and sensitive. This soft love is there for the long haul and you know that no matter what happens that person would never ever leave you, and you would never ever leave them either.
Unfortunately, a marriage like this can become boring, monotinous, and dull. Nevertheless, it can be the sweetest and most fullfilling things to happen to a person. Imagine elderly couple now. You've seen them. The ones who are your grandparents age or older. They've been together 50 yrs or so, since they were teenagers. Thought they are well into their 70's, 80's and so forth, the love is still there. He still opens the car door for her, she still sits next to him wherever they are. She holds his hand in hers never wanting to let go, and he continually gives her affectionate kisses and hugs just because he can.
I really don't know which one of these is true, if they are even true. A part of me longs for that gentle love that will last a lifetime and beyond. Another part of me hopes that I can find that passionate love and keep it forever.
Lately I have experienced some interesting situations where relationships are involved. Some good and some not so good. There is this break up thing with Sam and Kelly, my parents (well.. I can't really tell if they have a marriage or not), and all my friends are getting engaged and if not, they are married or at least dating someone. It's kind of odd. At the same time though, I've made some really great friends, strengthened some bonds, and had quite a few conversations to make any persons head spin. The most important ones lately have been those with my sister-in-law (sister forever!) Kelly. And through our talks we have come to a conclusion that with the more and more I grow and experience, the more and more I believe might be true.
There are two types of marriages that we've discussed. The one where you marry a person whom you absolutely adore, are crazy about, can't get enough of, and with whom you have this fiery passion and connection (and I do not simply mean in a physical way). With this type of relationship, they usually start quickly and out of the no where. It's like .... BAM! Sadly however, that tends to be the way the marriage runs as well. BAM! and it's over. Something happens and the two people are torn apart leaving gaping wounds with a pain that will haunt the individuals for years to come! When I think of this type of relationship, I think of Brek. Brek and I just came together one night and it was electric. We had so much fun together and spent a lot of time together. There was just something about Brek that made my blood boil and stirred the fire inside me like no one has ever done. Even when I was angry or mad at him, I could just look at him and melt. But before I knew it, Brek was gone and out of my life. And just as I said before, leaving a gap in my heart that I am unsure if anyone will ever be able to fill.
Because Kelly and I have both experienced this type of emotional lashing we've become paranoid and wonder if it's even possible for two people to be married and stay married, happily. I've thought about the people I know around me, and honestly, I haven't found one couple like that. Then, Kelly brought up an observation she had from the people she knew. A marriage that lasts and is loving, is not the one when you marry the person who brings th passion out of you. It is when you marry the person who you are comfortable with, who you are safe with, who brings stability, loyalty, and dependability. This person does not get you going like the first. The love between you and this person is more gentle, soft, and sensitive. This soft love is there for the long haul and you know that no matter what happens that person would never ever leave you, and you would never ever leave them either.
Unfortunately, a marriage like this can become boring, monotinous, and dull. Nevertheless, it can be the sweetest and most fullfilling things to happen to a person. Imagine elderly couple now. You've seen them. The ones who are your grandparents age or older. They've been together 50 yrs or so, since they were teenagers. Thought they are well into their 70's, 80's and so forth, the love is still there. He still opens the car door for her, she still sits next to him wherever they are. She holds his hand in hers never wanting to let go, and he continually gives her affectionate kisses and hugs just because he can.
I really don't know which one of these is true, if they are even true. A part of me longs for that gentle love that will last a lifetime and beyond. Another part of me hopes that I can find that passionate love and keep it forever.
