A New Dilemma

Right... so I get back from my trip. Well I have this appointment with a Cardiologist at some hospital in Arlington which I've been trying to get set up forever. Because of this whole thing I can't go to my Astronomy class but tha't ok, i have friends who will take notes for me. Since I basically get the rest of the day off I figured I could see Bob. I give him a call and he tells me he would come over, though he might be a little late b/c he needed to do some housework and stuff for his mom. Alrighty, all was set. I went to the doctor, got some ok news, and went home to prepare. And of course, b/c that's just my life, Bob never shows. Yeah, I waited all day being bored out of my mind and he didn't show. Neither did I recieve and e-mail (this was on monday by the way) and still to this day I have not heard from him. I was crushed. I am crushed and oh so incredibly mad! I don't understand. He supposidly cares so much about me and yet he doesn't even try to come see me. He doesn't even think about me (i know b/c i asked). I'm so confused (more than usual). I thought he liked me and wanted to be with me. One of my friends thinks maybe something happened.. another thinks I should dump him... I'm starting to believe my mother. Perhaps she is right.. perhaps all guys do is lie to you.... All I know is how hurt I am. And he probably doesn't even realize it. I've decided I'm not going to call him till I get an e-mail from him.

It's been about 6 days since he never showed and it's been hard. There have been times when just wanted to pick up the phone and give him a call. But what good will it do? He probably doesn't come home to check his e-mail hoping I sent something, he probably doesn't sit by the phone b/w 8-9 (when i usually call) and hope that I might call, he probably doesn't lie in bed at night and think of me, and he probably doesn't discuss me with his friends. His birthday is coming up soon and I had planned on going to Mesquite to visit him, but now I don't know if I want to go. One of my friends thinks I shouldn't go as planned... another thinks I should. I want to, but will he even remember, will he even care? I just don't know. I suppose if I don't hear from his till then I still will and then I'll have to end our relationship. Again, if he did care, wouldn't he try harder?

What about my needs!! Bob and I have been dating for almost two months and we haven't seen each other since we first got together! I remember the way it felt when he held me. I need that. I need to be held and touched and stuff. And I remember vividly the way it felt when Bob softly kissed my neck and then the bite. hehehe. I need that too. Not only do I need just to see him and talk to him, I need to human contact. The only people I hug are my parents and brother. No one kisses me, no one softly touches me, no one holds my hand. I'm about to burst!

Spring Break in Pensacola Florida

Well my mother and I put aside our differences and headed off toward Florida for a nice relaxing vacation. We left Wednesday morning, heading for the sunny beaches in Pensacola. We were quite happy to leave behind all the cold weather and rain. The trip was a long one. We stayed in Baton Rouge wednesday night and continued our journey on thursday. Thursday was a grand day indeed. We traveled quickly out of Louisiana and into Mississippi where we drove through my childhood memory of Biloxi. Being still cold, windy, and cloudy we did not stay long, but just kept going. I must say, East Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, and Florida are beautiful! I just loved all the trees and the lush green grass. Upon arriving in Florida, the clouds broke up and we were blessed with glorious sunshine. We visited the Pensacola beach, the Santa Rosa Beach, and then headed to Destin (our main destination) and visited their beach. The best part was when we sat down on the Destin beach and were suddenly surprised with the sight of dolphins. There were quite a few of them too. It was one of the most thrilling things I experienced this whole Spring Break.

Friday really was not that great of a day. We went back to Destin where we got to see the dolphins again though. But it was just too cold. Mom and I deserted the beach and decided to make a small trip to Panama City. There really wasn't much to look at. It was definately a touristy type town and the streets were congested with tons of Spring Breakers. Destin in comparison is much more high class, more where actual people live. Driving through Panama City made me realize how much my Spring Break sucked. Here were a bunch of kids hanging out with there friends and having fun, while I was stuck. Don't get me wrong. I love my Mom and we do have fun together, but when I'm with her, I can't be free to be myself. So we basically wasted the day. However, we did go to Joe's Crab Shack. That was quite fun indeed. Our water was pretty cute, he talked like Pauly Shore, and he was really nice. His name was Michael and he helped me learn how to eat crawfish. Mom thinks he was flirting with me but I don't know. It's not like I get flirted with oftenly, so I wouldn't know.

Saturday was much warmer than Friday and I got to spend the whole day on the beach. It was quite hilarious. I was laying out in my two-peice swim suit while Mom was bundled up. She had on a jacket and wrapped herself up in a bunch of towels. hehehe. I did get some sun, not a lot, but some. Plus I got my sunset painting. Well it's not really a sunset, but close enough. **giggles** I would have gotten the sunset, but it was way too cold and we just had to leave! Oh well... but we stayed in that night and just lounged about.

Sunday we headed back home. Twelve straight hours from Destin back to Roanoke. Well we did stop for an hour at Cracker Barrel. We listened to music, read from the bible, talked, and I got my homework done. It was a good trip home. I must say, when we got back I was happy to sleep in my own bed again. Plus I'm glad school will be starting soon. This has to be one of the worst Spring Breaks I've ever had.