Lies They Told Us
For as long as I can remember there has been this desire to be loved and accepted. When i was a little girl I did not understand this but channeled the need by chasing after boys on the playground. Now that I'm 22 years old I still find myself running after any boy that catches my fantasy in hopes to finally satisfy my 'love' hunger.
But was this longing in me something that is natural and inevitable or is it something instilled into us by our family, friends, society, and the media? At the same time... though I have spent my life in pursuit of a boyfriend, it has yet to rid me of the burden and pain. In fact, it has done quite the opposite! It has caused me to become vain, unhappy, bitter, desperate, clingy, and depressed. It's funny that in the pursuit of love.. I've found nothing other than sorrow.
With the most recent fail at an attempt for love, I've spent a considerable amount of time talking with my family and friends, struggling to come to terms with my... our decision. One thing from all the talk that has rested on my mind recently are the questions from my brother and dad about why have I fallen so quickly? How is it that after only knowing someone for two weeks.. I've become so attached? Even Ben commented on it. At first, I couldn't answer their questions. I really didn't know why I had fallen so quickly. I made up excuses such as, well I really like him. He's uber-cute. He's the only guy who made an effort to talk to me first. He is the only guy to ask me for my phone number. While all these might seem fine and dandy.. that's the reason.
Now not to pass the buck or fail to take responsibility in my own short comings, I have come to a hypothesis. My mother and I were watching a Disney movie .. was it Disney?... well it was some romantic comedy featuring Julia Stiles (she's awesome!) and it was then and there that I realized that all these fairytales, romantic stories, and hooplah (oh yeah that's right.. I said Hooplah!) are a good source of my woe. How might you ask? Simply stated, it is thus: Boy Meets Girl.. they fall in love, happy ending! And how long does this usually take? Oh give it a day or two and you're set to exchange vows! So excuse me if I fall for a guy who treats me well, who I like, who I enjoy spending time with, and who is cute within a week or two. But it's what has been bred in me and million of little girls all over the world. From the time we're old enough to understand language we're told extraordinary love stories and dream for them to come true for us too. This is what I've been told, and this is what I expect.
However, seldom does such a thing exist and rarely does it happen. Instead, we go from boy to boy, desperately seeking our prince charming, only to end up kissing, in my mother's words, "a lot of Frogs."
For as long as I can remember there has been this desire to be loved and accepted. When i was a little girl I did not understand this but channeled the need by chasing after boys on the playground. Now that I'm 22 years old I still find myself running after any boy that catches my fantasy in hopes to finally satisfy my 'love' hunger.
But was this longing in me something that is natural and inevitable or is it something instilled into us by our family, friends, society, and the media? At the same time... though I have spent my life in pursuit of a boyfriend, it has yet to rid me of the burden and pain. In fact, it has done quite the opposite! It has caused me to become vain, unhappy, bitter, desperate, clingy, and depressed. It's funny that in the pursuit of love.. I've found nothing other than sorrow.
With the most recent fail at an attempt for love, I've spent a considerable amount of time talking with my family and friends, struggling to come to terms with my... our decision. One thing from all the talk that has rested on my mind recently are the questions from my brother and dad about why have I fallen so quickly? How is it that after only knowing someone for two weeks.. I've become so attached? Even Ben commented on it. At first, I couldn't answer their questions. I really didn't know why I had fallen so quickly. I made up excuses such as, well I really like him. He's uber-cute. He's the only guy who made an effort to talk to me first. He is the only guy to ask me for my phone number. While all these might seem fine and dandy.. that's the reason.
Now not to pass the buck or fail to take responsibility in my own short comings, I have come to a hypothesis. My mother and I were watching a Disney movie .. was it Disney?... well it was some romantic comedy featuring Julia Stiles (she's awesome!) and it was then and there that I realized that all these fairytales, romantic stories, and hooplah (oh yeah that's right.. I said Hooplah!) are a good source of my woe. How might you ask? Simply stated, it is thus: Boy Meets Girl.. they fall in love, happy ending! And how long does this usually take? Oh give it a day or two and you're set to exchange vows! So excuse me if I fall for a guy who treats me well, who I like, who I enjoy spending time with, and who is cute within a week or two. But it's what has been bred in me and million of little girls all over the world. From the time we're old enough to understand language we're told extraordinary love stories and dream for them to come true for us too. This is what I've been told, and this is what I expect.
However, seldom does such a thing exist and rarely does it happen. Instead, we go from boy to boy, desperately seeking our prince charming, only to end up kissing, in my mother's words, "a lot of Frogs."
