No longer the "other' woman.
This week was really hard. I had so much to do. A portfolio review, research due, projects to present in class, production meetings, and an unhappy David. We won't get into why he was so upset, but it was just aweful. It made me so sad to see David so depressed. We barely talked at the beginning of the week and Wednesday he just broke down. Of course being his friend I was there for him 100%. I prayed for him, held him when he cried, drove him home when he couldn't, and brought him ice cream. It killed me seeing him in such obvious pain and there was nothing I could do. After I left him at his place I went to church, hoping I might find some comfort, so I might comfort him. When I came back to check on him he was back to normal like nothing had ever happened. I was quite confused, until I walked by his computer and noticed a change.
You see, our relationship is not even close to normal. David has a girlfriend, named Martha. Me? I'm a girl he's dating. Martha knows of course, but none the less, I'm the "Other" woman. Martha and Dave were having difficulties which resulted in his depression and upsetedness ( is that a word? well if not, it is now). During that time when he was angry with her, he showed me alot more attention. Spending more time with me and even giving me a pet name. Of course I was an idiot for allowing it. Because as soon as Martha and him were o.k., I went back to being just Anna, and she was Gorgeous again. We've been dating I guess for about 3 months and we've had our ups and downs, and my feelings for Dave have peaked and dipped. There are times when he's just my buddy, sometimes he's my boi toi, and at very rare occasions it seems like he might as well be my boyfriend. Of course sometimes I feel like I just want him as a friend, or i want him around because we have fun together, or I'm crazy about him and only want to be with him. Lately, it's been the later of the choices. Which of course brings us back to the issue that he has a girlfriend.
It comes down to the cold hard facts. Dave loves Martha. I assume she loves him. So if they love each other why does he have me around? I know he cares about me as a friend, but I'm not going to be a convenience. And I'm no longer going to be caught up in the middle of them. We'll still hang out and have fun, I'll still go to his hockey games, he still go to my plays, and we'll do everything like before. Well, except there will be no more cuddling and kissing. Gonna miss that cuddling. Hopefully it'll work out for them, because hey, He's my friend and I just want him to be happy. And if not, I'm still an option. **wink wink** Yeah.. i'm crazy.
