Thursday, December 08, 2005

The Molecular Structure and Spirituality of a Snow Flake

It's been snowing.. a lot. Today, I think we got 6 inches of snow. So much in fact that a few meetings and rehearsals were cancelled and I've been restricted and advised by me friends, to not drive. There weren't many people out and about when I finally left the Krannert Center this evening, and the roads were just as bare. Well... as bare as one could call mounds of soft fluffy snow. It's funny. With all this snow, it's not as cold today as it has been the past few days. Mm hmm.. when I got home and checked the temperature, it was a balmy 16 degrees. Much warmer than the 4 degrees from two days ago. Thankfully, not much wind at all either.

Needless to say, I have been fascinated and in awe of such a wonderland of powdery goodness. I figure, if it has to be cold, It Better Snow DAMMIT! te-he. The other morning as I sauntered gleefully through the falling heavenly dandruff, it clung to my coat and gloves. At first it looked nothing more than clumbs of white stuff but upon inspection, I could pick out individual miniscule snowflakes. Each one was unique and intricatly decorated. Seriously, despite their teeny tiny size, they were indeed miniature ice sculptures. And they are all different and special.

How awesome is God in this thought? There I was with perhaps only a couple dozen snowflakes in the palm of my hand but at the same time, I was in possession of precious, hand crafted, God works of art! And to top it all off, I was standing in an inch deep layer of God's handy work. All made individualy. All made with Love. All made so that when I walked out my door that morning, that I would have something beautiful to look at, to taste, and to enjoy. Then the thought hit me. If God cares this much about simply making a snow flake, just one, and then takes the time to make billions upon billions of others.. how much care and love does He have for each and every one of us? I mean, He made that snow for us! All of that!! The idea is simply mind boggling.

Then my mind switched gears on me as I stared at the icicly particles that like diminuative chinese stars stuck to my gloves. How do snow flakes get their shape, scientifically? This point and idea is valid because God made science. **beams** Ok.. well let's take this one step at a time. What is snow? Snow is simply water droplets that are too heavy for the air that supports it and before it falls, it freezes. When this precipitation freezes however, it forms into hexagonal ice crystals. But why?! Why I ask! WHY?!.... In essence, the water molecule is H-O-H .. (ie. H20) However, these tiny molecules are microscopic and invisible to the naked human eye. In this form, they are light enough to stay suspended in the air as well. However, as the temperature drops, these molecules begin to tighten and conglomerate. And then through the wonderful thing that is Chemistry, the atoms configure themselves. There would then be several rows, columns, and endless combinations of the H-O-H chain, at which point makes them too heavy for the air to hold and then what we know as the snowflake is born.

Yes yes I know. I think way to much. I've taken something as simple as the snowflake and turned it into a spiritual revelation as well as a scientific lesson. Oye!

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Can't Sleep...so I'm Thinking.

Yep.. it's almost one in the morning and I can't sleep. Funny.. I had even contemplated going to bed at 10:00 but then a movie I wanted to watch came on and I decided to stay up.
Now.. I have a throbbing headache, the kind that creeps up the back of your neck and then settles at the base of your skull right above your neck. You rub your back neck musces which increases the pain and yet somehow at the same time aleve's it slightly while you massage it. However, this is hard to accomplish properly on ones own self as it merely stresses out the neck muscles more. I tried some stretching and a bit of light exercise, hoping to divert my attention and focus. Yet again, no success in getting rid of the headache. At a final attempt, I made my way through the darkness that enveloped my apartment and through the silence that accomanies it. In the kitchen, I made myself a small screwdriver. Not so much an "Anna Marie" style drink, but enough.

I'm hoping the alcohol will kick in any second here and I'll be able to fall asleep or the pain dissipate. Preferably... both. So till then.. I'm awake. Here. Been thinking a lot today. Thinking about life. Things I have to accomplish within the next week. Plans that I have for break. The friends and people I miss back home. Surprisingly.. I've made a discovery and realization. I don't know what triggered it really.. or how it happened, but Praise Jesus. He is so faithful and so awesome. The past couple months I have reverted to my old self of being totally boy crazy and chasing after guys. And of course, it has caused me a lot of grief and wasted a lot of my time and energy. I've been praying to be back to that place in my life where I was over the summer and before I left Texas.

I was in a period of self evaluation and growth. I was discovering who I was as a person, a woman, a christian. Within this place, I learned to love myself, to appreciate and seek after God, to enjoy my life as a single person, to understand that there is more to life than merely existing, that I'm capable of awesome things thanks the God, and that I'm happy with who I am, where I'm at, and where I'm going. It was a wonderful place to be and I had lost that. But... God has brought me back. How? I don't know.. He just did. And I'm so excited about it! I feel that I can live my life again, focus and do what I need to do, do what I want to, and live to my full potential.
Now I am not totally there I guess.. perhaps I am. I was thinking, I don't really know what's next. I don't know what I'm going to be doing this summer. I don't know where I'll be going. I don't know what the Lord has in store for me. But, whatever it is. It's going to be fun, productive, and full of growth. I'm excited about it. I just gotta make it through this next week.

"Lord give me strength. One step at a time... One foot in front of the other... Lord, lead me where you will. "