Feeling a little lonely

Today was a good day. I got to spend it with my folks. We went out to the mall, ate at a couple restaurants, saw a movie, and just had fun together. Sure there were times when I was a little miffed at them because they would say something totally uncalled for, but hey, I still love hanging out with them. I don't know. I really haven't been able to spend time with them much lately so I should be cherishing this time. But, at the same time, I wish I was having fun with my friends or someone 'special.' My parents are all gone this weekend of course because it's Thanksgiving, Sam moved to Utah a month or so ago, and I don't have a boyfriend. Bah.. it's really not like I'm alone! I have friends, family, and such. I just wish that I was doing the things I was when I had a boyfriend.

When I dated David, we went out and hung out with other people all the time. I went to his hockey games, we'd go to sporting events and I'd get hurt, it was also just nice to have someone to watch t.v. with. When I dated Brek, we always had a good time. We went swimming, we'd go to museums, we'd go dancing every week or go hang out with our friends at bars and concerts. I had so much fun with Brek.

Now.. I talk to a couple guys on the phone. They are great guys. Don't get me wrong. But it just isn't the same. They live like an hour from me and don't have transportation or the funds to do anything. Le sigh. I don't want to lose faith either with Jay Jay, but.. le sigh, I need to be patient. I'm not going to say anything that might hinder or cancel out any of my blessings. I just gotta be patient.

My First Spiritual/Physical Attack

Praise Jesus! I am victorious in Christ. He gives me strength in all things and blesses me exceedingly and abundantly. Thank you Father for all you have done for me, all that you are doing, and all that you are going to do. You are so glorious and I give you endless praises!

It's about 10:45 am and I just had my first spirtual/physical attack. Now my mother has had many in the past and she has always told me about them. When she told me about them, I used to be scared and hope that that would never happen to me. Lately I've been trying to spend more time in the Lord and grow in Him. I want to serve Him and be a good and faithful servant. Well as my spirit has been growing, I've been having dreams of demons trying to attack me and scare me. At first I was always full of fear, but I am able to conquer them. Now I'm at the point where those don't even bother me anymore. A couple nights ago in fact, there was a spirit in my dream and instead of chasing me down and trying to harm me I was the one chasing it, casting it down, and with the Lord's strength overpowering it. It was awesome. Praise Jesus!

This morning I woke up at about 8:00 am because I had some things I needed to check on. My mother was awake (I'm staying at their house for the weekend) and I spoke with her as she got ready for work. I was up and about, took a shower, checked e-mail and things. But at about 10 I got sleepy again. So I layed down, listened to some music, and fell asleep. I kind of woke up, I assume I was in that half state of awake and sleep. I heard a noise coming from the bathroom. It sounded like the toilet paper roll was turning. I realized that is exactly what it was and it got louder and faster. Suddenly I was gripped in fear. I blacked out for a miniscul of a second and when I came to I felt as though I was being pressed. My whole body was being pressed against the bed by some sort of force and I felt like it was trying to push me off as well. In that instant I knew exactly what it was! I opened my mouth to speak Jesus' name but like in the past and in my dreams, I was unable to speak. I tried to sit up and the harder it pushed. My eyes flickered trying to open, but from what I could see, everything was normal. I could feel my mouth. My mouth was open, and my tongue was moving but I couldn't say anything. Everything that had happened in my dreams and as my mother had desribed it was happening. If I relaxed, I could still feel the pressure and I could feel it move over me. There was a sound like rushing wind in my ears. The scripture says, "Resist the devil, and he will flee." So that's what I did. Once more I struggled against the invisible force to move and sit up, and in my spirit I cried out to Jesus. I tried to speak in tongues.

In a split second, I came to, fully aware and conscious. I sat up and everything was as it had been. I realized what had happened was real and that I had not dreamt it. My immediate reaction was to call my mother and tell her of my victory, but before I reached my phone I knew who the first one I was to talk with. I thanked Jesus and praised him. I prayed over my house and pets calling the Lord's protection upon it.

I do not know if this kind of thing will ever happen again. But I know that I am doing the right thing. The devil only bothers those he worries will become problems to him. It doesn't matter even if he does try something again, the Lord is with me always. Thank you Father!

You Are Amy Lee! Gothy, expressive, woman-in-painWho looks damn good in a corset"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tearsWhen you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears" Who's Your Inner Rock Chick? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.