3 Kick Ass Bands

After all the drama and crap from the week, it was nice to know that I was going to get out and have some fun with my brother. I had dinner at his place, watched t.v. which I hadn't done in a long time, and waited for him to get ready. We drove to Division One in Arlington. I'd been there once before, Sam had had a show there. It was an wonderful night last night. Not just the good time I had, but the weather was beautiful. Heavy storms were battering the DFW area with Lightning, Tornado Watches, Thunder, Hail, and torrents of rain. Awesome. For about an hour while Sam mingled with people I sat at the bar and enjoyed a Cherry Vodka Sour, just watching the people and taking everything in. At about 10:30 ish I turned to find Sam and Brek was standing right there. Oh he's a cutie. He ordered himself a drink and we chit chatted.

He's really yummy. hehehe. He had on a green and black striped shirt, black pants with bondage straps, a belt with big bondage rings, boots, and of course EYE LINER! **hot** Yeah yeah.. i'm a sucker for guys wearing eye liner. So he was way yummy. But I was equally yummy. I wore my black pants that I can convert into capris (which I did). It's lined and stitched with Red and has red skull bondage straps. I wore my spiked studded belt and my Ghoul School shirt. Of course I was showing some tummy and instead of my boots i wore my diamondy sandals to show off my legs. I have nice legs. And I spiked my hair with a soft spike look and wore a red ribbon with a bow in my hair. Yeah.. hella cute. Anyway.. back to flirting with Brek.

So we just kind of stand there by the bar talking and smiling and flirting. Then the first band came on. They were pretty good. We all enjoyed them. I sat by the bar and Brek stood next to me. He put his arm around me and we held hands. The band played more slow kind of industrial stuff. Very similar to the kind of music my brother makes. He really did enjoy them and it just seemed to fit the mood. Then there was like a 15 minute intermission and Brek and I chit chatted some more. I stood up with him and we got closer. I was somewhat tired from my long day and he seemed very willing to hold me so I let him. It was nice because he just seems to know where to touch me and would softly caress the small of my back and even my tummy. I really love having my tummy rubbed. The second band was much better than the first. The first was very good, but like I said, the second was better. They were more dancy and harder. I really liked their music and so did Brek. It was just fun and we really got into it. We both swayed and moved to the music. And some of the people in the bar danced. It was kewl. At one point Brek had to pull me aside because I almost got trampled by some of the guys being silly and trying to mosh. Who moshes at an Industrial Concert? Anywho... Again there was a small intermission. This time Brek and I just stood there holding each other, sometimes glancing at one another. Then we just closed our eyes and rested our foreheads together. It was so nice to be held and to feel like I was wanted. We just stood there like that while everyone else in the bar were talking and having fun. It was like the world was going on around us and we just existed in this one small moment. He rubbed our noses softly and then he moved and kissed me. Such a soft and gentle kisser. **thrumms** And of course I get all shy and embarrassed and blush 10 shades of red. I'm cute like that. So then the next band came up and played. The one that we had come to see... "Imperitive Reaction." The first song was so awesome and happened to be the one song Brek wanted to hear the most, his favorite song by them. This band kicked so much ass we couldn't just stand there and bob to the music anymore. We just had to get out and dance. And what great dancing music it was too. All the songs rocked! Oh man I just love this band. It's a great band. Woot! Go Imperative Reaction! YEAH! Oh i love dancing and I love having someone i can dance with. Brek and I really flow together when we dance. Plus it's not like I have to dance with him the entire time, he can dance on his own and me by myself, but it's fun to be able to look up and see him and vice versa. So yes.. the band ruled and we had fun. Then we danced some more to the music they played when the band was done and Sam was ready to leave. Brek and I took too long saying goodbye. i really didn't want to leave but I knew Sam did. Brek had invited me to join him for a movie at his place, but I'm not ready for that yet, and I wouldn't have a ride home.
Maybe in a couple weeks. So I'll see Brek next Sunday, but we had a good time together. I like him. He's fun. He's hot! hehehe. I'm so bad.

Ups and Downs

I've not had the greatest week, but there have been things that have been good none the less. I guess the week got off to a bad start Sunday. Church was great but I went out that night with Sam again to the church. They were having this party night called, "The Sanitarium." The music sucked, there were too many people, Brek was way too drunk and left early, and some girl kept dancing with him, and some dork kept trying to dance with me. It was not fun in the least bit. Of course because we went out and I have class on Monday mornings, I only got about 3 hours of sleep. Monday was fine till I went to the bar with David and the boys. Dave was just being a real asshole and rude. The only one I had fun talking to was Chris, one of Dave's buddies that happens to be in my world lit class. Tuesday was same old same old, still tired. David and I went to lunch like usual and it was all sorts of akward. Wednesday is when things got bad, I just didn't know it yet. Classes were fine, and then I called David and invited him to lunch. I happened to be in a great mood that day and was giddy. Apparently I pissed David off. We'll come back to that. I had my violin jury which went well, opened the design expo, and went home. All seemed fine. I worked on my lighting plot till 5 am but had some nice time with my bro during and Brek called me! We chatted for about 40 mins and found out we were going to the same concert on Friday. Woo hoo I get to see Brek this weekend. But like i said, I was up till 5 am working on that light plot and had to get up at 8 to go to school. Wasn't in the best of moods. I got my critique back on my Medea project and yeah it sucks, and of course she slammed me on my designs for Midsummer. I just feel like I don't cut it as a designer. Lighting was fine but because I was in such a bad mood and kind of whiney, my best friend wasn't very keen to it so that upset me all the more. Then I found out that Dave was really mad at me and compared me to his ex who is a total bitch. So that just added more upset to my day. I cried a little while we watched some lighting video, more more pressure WOO!!!! Angie and I had our portfolio reviews and I feel mine went well. I got to finally voice some concerns and opinions that I usually don't get to. Of course I got all teary again.
Then everything hit again on Friday. David still hadn't talked to me since Wed at lunch. I got a call from Liss during my lit class. It was serious... she usually doesn't call me during the day. She usually doesn't call.
I must have really pissed David off. Apparently he was going to stand me up for the Theatre Banquet and not let me know till 5 minutes before hand. He had told her and then told her not to tell me. He's such an ass! What the hell did i do to make him so upset at me?! I know david and he doesn't usually do mean things like that unless someone makes him really angry, so for him to do that to me, I must have done something awful. But i didn't! I broke down... I cried a lot. The only one I could find to comfort me was Mike. Mike is so great. He helped and suggested talking to David. So I did. I called Dave and we met so we could talk. He did not know at this point that I knew about how angry he was at me or what he was planning. I apologized to him for whatever I did and asked him what it was that I had done. He simply said it was little things that added up. I felt that if something I did bothered him, he needed to let me know so I would stop doing it and we wouldn't have that problem. Like when we first dated, I used to hit him alot, just playful like. Well I learned that he didn't like that, so I stopped! See how easy that is?! Well since I had no idea I was irritating him, it just exploded.
Me: So when were you planning on talking to me again.
David: I don't know.. Next week.
Me: What about the Banquet.
David: I don't know... I hadn't thought about it that far.
BULLSHIT!!! A blatent lie right to my face. Gah!!! I'm so sick of his lying! Why can't he just be honest?! Is it so hard to tell the truth? Why does he have to lie? I don't deserve to be treated like this. If he really was my friend, he would never even think of wanting to hurt me. But he did, he planned on hurting me. We left deciding to take time away from each other and take a break from our friendship. I was overwhelmed and upset. Angie called me and I met with her, Alex, Mike, and Jayme. Angie bought me a drink... they made me feel so much better. When I think about David and my relationship.. it used to be good. We used to make each other happy. I don't think we do anymore. This break will be a good thing. I don't even know if we should be friends anymore. Friends don't treat each other like that.

Guys are lucky

Sometimes I wish I was a guy.
Guys get it so easy... they really do. And it sucks!
1. Guys don't get a monthly period with pain so extreme that you can't even stand up.
2. Guys can pee while standing up without worrying about peeing all over themselves.
3. Guys can cheat on girls and it's o.k., but if a girl cheats on a guy, she's a whore.
4. Guys can have mulitiple partners, but if a girl does, she's a slut.
5. Guys don't get emotionally attached, Girls are just big balls of emotion.
6. Guys can fuck em and leave em.
7. Guys don't have to worry about getting pregnant.

Fuckers.

The Light in the darkness

Today at church when we walked in, all the lights were off. There were maybe a couple wall sconces that were on but over all it was practically pitch black. Mom and I had no idea what was going on along with most of the congregation. We thought perhaps they were trying to set the mood for the message or something. Ushers walked about with flashlights and the band was setting up their acoustic guitars and bongo drums. We soon realized that there was no electricity at all throughout the entire complex. It was Church Unplugged. :) They began bringing out candleabras to set up infront of the altar and the choir began to sing. We sang songs that any normal church goer would know and it felt like an old fashioned revival or as if we were all gathered around at a big bonfire. It was great. It was nice to get down to the basis and just worship God. No distractions from anything and just getting back to 'the heart of worship. hehehe. It was awesome. Then Pastor George came out and gave us a message from God. It came from 1 Corinthians 14:33, "God is not the author of confusion, but of peace." Even though what the devil meant for evil, God meant for good. We were in the darkness, but we were in the Light. So basically the message was about not being confused. We have all the wisdom we need through Christ we just have to claim it. No more saying, "I'm so confused." Yay Wisdom through Jesus! Woot!