What a Day!
Current mood: triumphant

With a title like that and with the recent events of my life, you would assume that I had had one of those wonderful God and Joe filled days. This however could be partially farther from the truth!

Yesterday I woke up early as is my way in order to get a lot of things done for school, small group, and the Stations of the Cross at church of which I'm the Artistic Director. The first place on my destination of needs was Walmart. So at about 7:30 is I pulled into their parking lot and bam! I suddenly couldn't turn my steering wheel and my car was dead. At first I figured, huh.. it must have just stalled. So I tried to turn it over.. again.. and again.. and again. But nothing! Nothing! Then a woman came running at me screaming that I was leaking Gas! Immediately I jumped out of the car and stepped into a puddle of Gas. Luckily I wasn't in any main road or anything but in one of the isle lanes of the Wal-mart. The first thing I knew I needed to do was get my car into one of the spots and get home. I called Clint. He was super fast and came and helped.

Once home, I called AAA and the saturn dealership. Tracey came home and took me back to my car so that the Towing company could Tow my car to Saturn. We went to the Saturn place and I talked to the guy there, letting him know what happened. They said they'd call with an estimate and in the mean time, Tracey drove me around so I could finish my errands. We went to Hobby Lobby, had lunch at Pizza Hut (my treat), and went to look at these great apartments/town houses near Parkland College.

My car was fixed and finished by 1:30! It was great and it didn't cost any some sort of extravagant price. They had to replace/reattach my fuel line and then because it needed it, I had them rotate my tires, change the oil and air filter, and wash my car! I was super excited.
Amazingly as well, I got all my errands done, was able to finish helping set up for the Stations of the Cross, and then had a wonderful time at Small Group last night where God was definately present. Yay! What the devil tried to work for evil, the Lord used to bless me and He receives all the glory for helping me! It shows how much I've grown, how I'm more independant and don't need my dad to always pull me out of scrapes.

Go Jesus.. He rocks it hard core!

A Phone Call
Current mood: flirty

A couple days ago, Tuesday evening, I was at Krannert busy working on a bodice for my Draping Class. All of a sudden I had a fabulous idea. Clint was IMing me and I remembered that he leads a men's bible study/ breakfast on Wednesday morning. So I got all the information as to where, when, and who's all invited. Clint was most helpful. Then, I decided to pass this information on to Joe! These two guys have still yet to meet and it's ... well... silly. Boys are just so complicated and exacerbating sometimes! Bleh. This would be a remarkable opportunity for the two guys to meet, plus, Joe would get a taste and feel for how Clint works in ministry. Plus, Pete could go which would inevitably further bond and cement their familial relationship.
Aside from all that, I just wanted an excuse to call Joe. **insert girlish giggle here**

I called Joe and he answered but he couldn't talk right away, because he was dry walling. Random and manly.. i know! But after an hour or so, he called me back. I was uber excited! We just chit chatted for a bit, he explained that he got a new couch and why he was dry walling and I talked about being at Krannert and my bodice. I then was able to inform him about the breakfast. Joe seemed interested. But he wasn't able to go this week because it was short notice and he's not much of a morning person. Perhaps next week.

After this, i thought we would simply get off the phone and that would be that. But! To my most elated delightment, our conversation continued. We discusses things like kitties, ferrets, and kitty litter. Also, we talked about our work. I explained to him some of the design and my future desires relating to my field, and he told me about selling cars. He encouraged me to go to California for the summer in order to strengthen my career as well. Umm.. I know we talked about a lot of other stuff, but I can't quite remember it at this moment. But that's ok! We talked for a good hour. When we hung up I was quite chipper, but still not really sure if Joe likes me.
I mean, he did take time out of his day to talk with me, and he did call me back that evening and didn't make me wait a few days. Also, I talked to Laura last night and she informed me that when Joe had gotten home right before he called me, he had seemed rather excited about calling me back. Of course, he could have just been excited about the couch. But we'll just say, it was me.

My saturday night is most likely goign to be filled with homework and research. This saddens me to an extent because I would love to be able to see Joe and hang out with him. However, because he has Easter plans, I don't think this is an option and I'm not sure if I should say something or ask, because well.. I don't want him to feel pressured, though he might like it because then well it's obvious I like him and want to spend time with him.

This is where it sucks. When i was going out with Clint, he always called me. I mean.. that boy, called me! and oh the conversations we had. I suppose I'm just used to being treated that way now. I expect it. I deserve it. And I want Joe to pay attention to me and make an effort where I'm concerned. Yet I still have to consider that we are just getting to know one another, nothing is official, and we really don't know anything about one another. But then again.. I'm super cute, fun, and hella adorable.

Le sigh... oh these games we play. In them we find such exuberance and an exhaltation of our most intense moments of zen. They create a world of mystery and challenges that pull our intangible souls to the most extreme of emotions and experiences. How can such small and insignificant nuances be the breaker of great and powerful beings?

A Random Joke
Current mood: lethargic

A pastor is driving down to New York to see a show, and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath, sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and asks, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
The pastor replies, "Just water."
The trooper asks, "Then, why do I smell wine?
The pastor looks down at the bottle and exclaims, "Good gracious, He's done it again!"

The Enigma that is Joe
Current mood: sleepy

Joe and I were supposed to have our hang out/movie time today. The word here, is supposed to. Now I'm sure you are wondering, "who is this Joe person of which you speak?" Why don't you pull up a poof, sit back, and I'll tell you.

Joe is the brother of my friend Laura's boyfriend, Pete. I met Joe when I first moved up here to Illinois at Kelley's house, my old small group leader. One day after small group or for some sort of party, Rob and Ann (other small group leaders) came over to Kelley's with their small group, which thankfully consists of mainly boys. Of course me being new and it being a rather large group, I planted myself on the corner of a couch in the corner of the room and disappeared in order to simply watch and listen. But, with time I grew bored, leaned over to the bookshelf and pulled out a book. What book was it? I don't remember what it was called exactly, but I remember it asked a question about a fish and that the book contained a plethera of information on all sorts of trivial yet imperative type questions like, "Do fish sleep?" "Why do we (insert one of the unanswerable perponderances you might have had here that has bugged you since you first began to have the ability to put coherent and intellectual thoughts together)." You know, one of those books! Before long, someone came and sat down next to me. We didn't speak right away. But then he asked me what I was reading. I showed him and we introduced ourselves. This was Joe. He then proceeded to pull a book of the shelf and read it as well. From hence forth I liked to refer to him as, my reading buddy.

Joe and I have never really talked since then. We know each other exist in some form or other upon this spectral thing we call life on a plane that by some unnatural force shudders and contracts which inevitably brings us to the same place, the Vineyard. Then I met Laura, and eventually Pete. Laura and I now lead and small group together and because we're so involved and have become friends, I've gotten to know Pete too, which consequently thrusts Joe into my path much more frequently. This may be caused of course by Laura's and Pete's inexhaustive plight to set Joe and I up together. I believe Laura said, "if we could just get you interested and push you towards him, ya'll would be set." I have to laugh at this idea because the minute I started showing interest, Joe has opened up to me and in his own way, made himself more available to me. Or something.

It started mainly by me telling Pete to tell Joe hi after our small group for me. (Pete and Joe live together you see.) Joe quickly caught on that I was saying hello, alot! Then I thought, hmmm.. he might be getting freaked out by me and I really don't want him to become uncomfortable by my obvious and blatant interest. I took matters into my own hand and cornered him, where I then proceeded to pounce on him.. NO no no! That's not what happened at all. lol. Gotcha didn't I? Te-he! No No, I thought it'd be a great idea to introduce Joe to Clint because they both have a heart for Men's Ministry. So far that plan has been disastrous as neither of them have the guts to call the other and as Clint is always working, I can never introduce them in person at 703. This plan however gave me a reason to talk to Joe, where I then cleared up the air about what I wanted. I let him know that I would like to get to know him better and that I hope I wasn't freaking him out. He seemed pretty receptive, so yay.

Anyways.. I wanted to have a reason to call him randomly the other day, but couldn't b/c he gave me his number to give to Clint, not me to call him. In girls world, that's a no no. But from all my other sources, ie - male friends, Joe would probably not care and would just be happy that I'm calling him. This was the green light I wanted and away I went. Despite my efforts though, I wound up with only a voice mail message. Le sigh. I left one at oh.. i'm going to say 9ish. I really didn't expect to hear from him for another week or so. ... 11:30 rolled around that evening and my phone started ringing. I thought, who in the world is calling me at this hour?! Normally I don't mind, but the truth is that no one calls me then so I was confused. To my joy and excitement, it was Joe! He was shopping at Wal-Mart. Random, yes I know! But we ended up having a fun little conversation chopped full of akward silences and talking. It was only like 10 minutes, but good.

Of course there was all the stuff at the conference as well which was way awesome because it made me really think that Joe is interested also.

Tonight.. we were supposed to have our movie night where we watched a movie and talked and got to know each other. Well.. Joe forgot. Instead, he made plans with his small group and other church buddies to go to the Office for their usual Sunday evening burger. Joe invited me and I was happy to go. I couldn't bring myself to say something about our movie night, b/c I didn't want him to feel like he had to hang out with me and not his friends. Besides, probably more comfortable for him and stuff. So I went. He drove us which gave us some alone time to talk where he asked me about how I got to The Vineyard, to Ilinois, to Grad school which I told him a good hour story in about 5 minutes. He then proceeded to tell me his story in 5 minutes. Twas good.

At the Office we all ate and talked and had a good time. The waitress somehow forgot my food but by Joe's kindness, he let me have his waffle fries, as long as he could have one. He also then paid for my drink. It's funny, I've noticed over the past coupl days that when i talk about something i'm really passionate about or have a strong opinion about, Joe seems to light up and watch me as though he's really interested and excited because I am.

Afterwards, Joe took me back to church and dropped me off. We were pretty silent in the car, digesting, thinking, sleepy, nervous. There are so many times when i want to reach over and hold his hand, touch his arm, kiss his cheek, something. But I can't because again, i don't want to freak him out and we're still getting to know one another. And we haven't really talked about what it is we think or feel for each other and we haven't been willing to go there. Again, still at a very early and baby stage. Probably won't be till after summer, if ever, that we'd get together. I believe he apologized for having for about the movie or something and I then said, "well we can do it another time." At which he replied, "Whatever." Ugh.. whatever. I hate whatever. I use it all the time and I hate when he used it. Because, it is a cop out. It's avoiding making a decision and revealing that he wants to spend time with me while neither confirming he doesn't. It's so ambiguous and it's rather irritating and exciting at the same time! Bah!

At this stage, i don't know what to do next. Do I wait for Joe to make the next move or do I continue my pursuit? If I don't do anything, he may think I'm no longer interested but if I continue my pursuit, that doesn't serve my need to feel wanted. Le sigh. I don't know when I'll see him again, but I know I will. just gotta take it one day at a time.