The Covert CadLab Date

There is a new young man that has caught my eye at the Krannert Center. He's a second year scenic designer, hehehe. He's also in my costume design/history class. I didn't quite know how to go about asking him out and you know me, I don't like having to be the one who does the asking. But this philosophy always interferes with my Carpe Diem mentality. So I deviced a scheme on how I could spend a little more time with him without it being me blatanly asking him out or something like that.

The other day in Costume Design we presented our "Electra" designs. His looked really nice put together and very structured, heh, go figure with a Set Designer! Now he does a method much like my own where I have Kinko's transfer my sketches onto watercolor paper. But he uses Photoshop to do all the adjustments and sizing. I have no clue when it comes to Photoshop so I pulled my "Damsel in Distress" card. (It works every time!)

Before class on Thursday, I lingered in the halls waiting for the other costumers and he happened to be walking by. I then trailed behind the pack until it was only him and I in the hallway. I told him that I was impressed with his renderings and how much I liked how he did them. I then asked if he would show me how he did it since I don't know anything about Photoshop. Gladly, he agreed to show me after class! Woot! I was in!
After class.. I wasn't sure if he would remember because it's amazing how easily a boy will forget a girl, especially if he's really not that into her. Nevertheless, we walked out together and he didn't rush off. In fact, he opened and held the doors for me. And then, in the CadLab, he even pulled my seat out for me. **giggle** I'm so old fashioned.

So he just starts doing stuff on the computer, throwing things up, and moving things around, explaining stuff... but going a bit too fast for me. He then turns to look at me and realizes I totally had the deer in headlights look. He kind of chuckled, slowed down, and began going slower. I also started asking more questions and interacting. It was fun. He was very receptive and willing to show me things and answer my questions. He never once seemed bothered or frustrated.

So now I have a slightly broader understanding of Photoshop and I got some one on one time with him. **beams** The experience definately increased my confidence and my liking for him. I was thinking of waiting till after thanksgiving of seeing if he wanted to go to Espresso and grab some coffee. But, I might ask him next week. Then while we're away for the week, he can pine for me. hahaha. I'm so lame and such a hopeless romantic. **Swoon**

Hurt

I have to say I am hurt. Quite hurt in fact. Why might you ask? Well why don't you pull up a chair and I'll tell you.

We all here know that I'm a christian. I love Jesus and I'm happy with all that. You also however know that I don't like forcing my beliefs on anyone. I'll tell you what I think, if you ask. You can choose to be whatever you want and worship whoever you want... fine. It's your choice. Also.. my friends know that I'm not a big fan of "Religion." You've all heard my shpeel on religion being routine blah blah blah. I'm more about spirituality and your relationship with God. So yeah.. just to lay a little ground work.

So this afternoon Ben, our friend Jenna, and I were in the computer lab at school, just working. Nothing special. We just all happened to be in there at the same time. Yay. Well Ben starts talking to Jenna about some evangelist preacher person on campus. You know.. one of those "in your face, you're going to hell" types. I know people don't like those people, I don't like the way they go about spreading the Gospel myself. So Ben starts ripping into this guy and telling Jenna all about it. Then they start Bible bashing and well.. I just couldn't take it. I saved my project and left.

As soon as I walked out, I wanted to cry. I mean... Ben just totally took all the beliefs and my religion and then dumped on it. It made me feel so insignificant and so small. Like everything that I hold dear to me was worthless. Then I wondered.. well if that's how Ben really feels about it, what does he really think about me? I must be totally pathetic and stupid to him. How could someone who is supposed to be one of my best friends... think that about me? Even at that... I was sitting right there when they were talking about all this. Couldn't he have waited till later to talk to Jenna about it.. or wait till I had left or something? But no.. I was sitting right next to him!

I never push my beliefs on Ben and tell him he's wrong for not believing like I do. I've never tried to make him feel bad for what he's done and I don't think I've done it unintentionally. I don't look down on him for the mistakes of his past.. the struggles he goes through.. or anything like that. In fact, I encourage him, I compliment him, and I try to build him up and be there for him.

I just wish that he'd respect my feelings and beliefs. Whoever said, "Sticks and stone can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.. " is a fucking idiot.

VLT (Vineyard Leadership Training)

My small group leaders, Bob and Kelley, invited me to attend VLT with them tonight. I had not been able to attend before or actually really get involved with the church recently because I've been quite busy with school.. and umm... a somewhat decent social life. To put it bluntly, I was putting God on the back burner so I could go out and have a good time. I've payed for it consequently in finding myself being depressed, worried, struggling with things I haven't had to struggle with for a long time, frustration, and a loss of passion for Jesus. Nevertheless, I saw my rapidly decending momentum and have put it to a halt. I'm working on becoming close to God once again and patching up all the damage of my worldy living. And to top it off.. I'm throwing myself head first into church and making God a number one factor in my life. So when Bob and Kelley invited me to VLT, I jumped at the chance!

Quickly, my work load has piled up and my energy level was sapped. I knew that I wanted and needed to go, but there is this mounting need to stay home and do homework. But that's foolishness! I know that by focusing on God, and making time for Him, and exerting some effort and planting seeds, that the Lord will reward me. With the attention focused on Him, He will help me focus on my work and the other things in my life. When I make time for Jesus, He always makes time for me to enjoy the things I like to do and so that all my work gets done in a timely fashion with a little extra to spare. When I give Him my energy be it at worship or just staying awake the extra however many minutes/hours it takes to pray, listen to a sermon, read my bible .. whatever, I know that He will strengthen me to get through my day and have plenty of pep too! And with each seed I plant, it will blossom and be fruitful. Yay Jesus!

Dinner was served before the meeting, and it was good too! MMmmm.. free food! Always a good time. At the meeting, we discussed some events that are coming up, any problems that need to be addressed, and then there was a word of Encouragement. It came from Exodus 33:14, "The Lord replied, My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Recently I have been dealing with the fact that I haven't been able to 'feel' God lately .. His presence ... in my life. But that's just how I felt. The reality is that God is always with me, whether I realize it, feel it, see it, or not. He's always there! And I know I'm here.. in Urbana-Champaign.. at U of I... at the Krannert Center.. for a reason. And in this.. I hear God speaking to me. He will not abandon me to the wiles of the devil.. He will not leave me to fall into the hands of the world.. He has already delivered me! And when I came here.. He came with me. He came before me! He prepared the way.. how else do you explain all the perfectness of my situation?! He is with me now and He will be with me throughout the rest of my career/life here. And I know that in His presence, I will prosper. Those around me will be blessed and their lives will change. It will not be me they see, but Him.

Can you believe I got that much out of a 5 minute word of encouragement?! You should see what happens when I get a Word of Knowledge/Wisdom while reading a verse in the Bible! hahaha. Anywho.. we then worshipped for a bit which was amazing. It's so great.. I can feel God again. And I know I shouldn't rely on that.. but God's presence is so awesome! Jesus and I rocked out together... lol.. seriously!

After worship we split up into our 'zones.' We belong to the Young Adult Zone and we did more announcements, questions, and just general updates. Afterwards we broke up into 'SubZones' where we prayed for one another stuff. It was good. Then we broke up into Boys and Girls in the 'Subzones.' It was here that I finally had the courage to ask for prayer, and I'm glad I did! I asked that the other ladies would pray for Claire and I. And did they go to town. I felt so energized, inspired, refreshed, and at peace with the prayer. They spoke such great words of encouragement, blessings, strength, words of knowledge and just great stuff over me. But not just for me.. but for Claire too. The one girl.. Ellen, she gave me a new title.. I believe it was something along the lines of: Anna Marie, Special Covert Operations. Basically.. the ability to pray and touch people with God's words without them really knowing. That little hints.. drops of grace and love from God, would flow through my words into their hearts and minds when I spoke. And of course.. a hug ministry! This was so random and it made us all laugh! But it was great. I love hugging and I love giving hugs.. and well.. Hugs just rule! So they prayed that whenever I hug someone, little "Barbs of Jesus" would stick to them. hahaha. I thought that was great! I am so thankful for these prayers and I feel so much better. I'm really excited!

Afterwards.. Kelley told me that she would like me to Intern with her and Bob for leadership/small group training. Not to take over their small group, but perhaps to have one of my own some day or something. I'm kind of nervous.. shy, and don't really feel up to the task. But.. that's just foolishness. I have to remember what Brad spoke about the other night. He talked about how Moses asked God, "Who am I? I'm not this great speaker or anything..." But of course God replied that He is in charge and that'd He'd teach Moses what to say and stuff. And I have to do the same. I have to be willing and make myself available to God. Yes, by myself I cannot do this. But.. with God, all things are possible!

"Nine" Show Girls


We just got done putting on a production of Nine at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign. Oh this show I was the costume technician and my responsibility was to construct the headdresses for the show girls. I was really excited about this job. I had just been to Vegas over the summer and had been able to see an authentic Vegas Showgirl show. The costumes were absolutely gorgeous and I have to say, I was quite ecstatic at the idea that I could possibly work in Vegas someday. Also, I love millinery. Making hats is one of the funnest things in the world for me, next to mask making. hehehe. Needless to say, I dived right in.

The costume designer, Jenni Gratton, gave me some research of Vaudeville and Vegas show girls and things. Along with her renderings and sketches I was able to figure out the shape the hats needed to be. And with Rene's help, I was able to create a shape that would support the weight and height of the feathers as well as stabily stay on the girls' heads.

In constructing the headdresses, I was able to use a material I have never used before, FaShape. It was a wonder working with and was much faster than working with Buckram and much more sturdy. The only disadvantage to it is that if you have more than one layer of the material, it's hard to sew through. But it still worked out beautifully.

I made three headdresses. Two were the same and the third was slightly different. It was the same base and feather stand but it had petal decorations, more sequins, and it's feathers spread out across the front of the headdress and not straight up. I worked several weeks on the headdresses but they looked fabulous.

Along with the headdresses I also constructed the Showgirls' tail feathers. Our Cutter/Draper, Rose, figured out how to construct them and devised a plan of attack. I simply took her method and made them. We did have problems though once it was time to attache the feather boas. They were too heavy and the wire structure underneath buckled and bent. So I had to figure out how to make it stronger. I simply added more wire and supports then to give it a little more kick and bounce, we decided to add a belt. The belt help keep them tops snug toward the body, giving them more fullness and height. All in all.. the girls looked awesome.