Feeling a little lonely

I have my ups and downs. Don't really know when I'll feel happy, don't know when I'll be sad. Right now, I'm at a low point. I had a bad night on Wednesday. Was really stressed out from work and stopped by Liss's to drop something off for her. David was there. I hung out I guess for about an hour. I should have just left. Seeing him only upset me more because I needed comforting in the first place and I can't be comforted by him anymore. I was in a worse mood Thursday morning, which I'm sure Liss could tell you about. But then I worked by myself all afternoon and I was in the best of moods afterwards. (quite odd!) I went to get some business cards from David and he took me to dinner. We had a great time, just chilling, chatting, and having fun. After dinner we watched our t.v. shows while I wrote my paper and that was about it. It was good though! We were just friends, no sadness, no pain. Tonight is a little different though. I hadn't planned on doing anything, just homework. Then Sam stopped by. Him, Kelly, Travis (Mack) and Cindy are going to see The Passion at 10;30. Sam of course invited me.
Me: Sure! Let me ask David if he wants to go. (b/c I've been wanting to take him to see it). **dials phone**
David: Yo.
Me: Hey you busy?
David: No.
Me: You have plans for tonight?
David: uh.... No.
Me: Do you wanna?
David: huh?
Me: Sam, Kelly, Travis, and Cindy are going to The Passion. do you wanna go?
David: When?
Me: 10:30 at Grapevine Mills.
David: mmmm... I'm going to have to pass.
Me: ok
David: ok talk to you later **click**

Sure it's fine that David didn't want to go. But now I just feel even more lonely. It really isn't his fault. It's just, I was getting used to and enjoying having someone to go out with me. Everyone else has someone, and everyone else does things in couples. I'm tired of being the 3rd or Fifth wheel. It's not fun at all and makes me feel terrible! I'm sick of this shit!

Time just flew out the window

So I had all these great plans for this week. Was going to go to church with Liss as usual and get my praise on, Thursday we were going to go watch the Passion movie, Friday was reserved exclusively for my mother, Saturday I was going to host a BBQ at my pad for all my buddies, Sat night Liss and I were going to watch the Woyzech play, Sunday of course would be spent going to church, hanging with my bro and his wife, where we'd top it off with going dancing. Doesn't that sound like a hella good week?!

Well POO ON IT ALL!

I've been so psychotically busy with Little Night Music, Homework, and Senior Chor. that I've had to cancel all my plans!!! No church on wednesday night, No Passion movie, and no BBQ!!!! The only thing I wouldn't cancel for sure was Friday plans with my mother because that was a must. I still have to see Woyzeck but that is because it's mandatory for school. I just have to change the day I go. I still get to go to church on Sunday and go dancing but those of course are out of necessity too. Today, I'm working on trying to catch up with homework. Le sigh....

Singles Fellowship

I went to my church tonight. They were having a singles fellowship thing. I was a little wary about going, I really wasn't sure what to expect. Was it going to be a mixer of young singles? Was it only going to be older people? I read something about games, was I going to be forced to play? Would there be food? Would there be a good turn out or would I be the only one?.... Well, I went none the less and when I got there, I wasn't that uneasy. I walked in confidently, filled out my information, and got my name sticker. I walked around for a bit and then sat down where everyone else was seeming to gather. After a few minutes an woman, probably a little younger than my mother came and sat down with me. We began to chit chat. She seemed nice enough though her teeth were covered in lipstick. Looked aweful. I wonder how that happens. I hope my teeth never do that! **checks** Anywho.. then the singles pastor talked to us a bit, welcomed us, prayed. And then for an ice breaker we all stood up, told our name, where we were from, a wierd pet name, and something unusual about ourselves.

Me: My name is Anna Marie. I was born in Lubbock (Someone: Go Red Raiders) and now I live in Keller. I have a ferret but she has two names. I named her Vampyr and my mother calls her precious. ( That makes sense) The unusual thing about me i guess is, I can be very girly and very tomboyish too. I like shopping, painting, and sewing but then i love sports, and building things.

After an hour of that we played games. Some man named Joe came abd played checkers with me. We talked a lot about college. It was nice. Of course I lost. But it's ok. I put up a good fight. I can still kick Dave's ass at chess though!!! hehehe. Then i got some munchies and chatted with that Diana woman again. We all left at 8:30 and that's about it. There were maybe two or three girls there my age and one had 3 kids. No men my age. But that's ok, just wanting to learn to live on my own and how to be spiritually strong and single. :)