Weekend with the Ceej
Current mood: appreciative

This weekend I spent with my buddy CJ. CJ has been so awesome and a great friend. When I dropped my computer due to my back going into painful spasm, it stopped working. I called him to see if he could help me fix it but I guess I really screwed it up. To help, CJ mailed me his lappy and I sent him mine. He payed for the shipping and everything. He's been working on it for me and is determined to get it fixed or at least save the info on my harddrive.

In celebration of my return we planned some time for us to hang out and have some fun. Our plans basically included waffles, a movie, and an evening of talking over drinks. CJ came over Friday evening where he worked some more on my lappy. We then started watching some signs, concocting interesting drinks, listening to music, and talking. We talked all night. We talked about anything and everything, including our sob stories. It was good. It was nice to just open up and let all the crap out, on both our parts.

The next morning.. er.. afternoon, we went for waffles. Sadly, this world does not make plain waffles anymore. They only seem to come in the Belgium form and apparently are no longer served after 2. Bastards. So instead i went with a country breakfast of Eggs, Pancakes, Sausage, and the little potato cubes. I love the Potato cubes. So crunchy and salty and yummy goodness. CJ had blueberry pancakes. Post breakfast, CJ and I went to Target where I purchased a new bookshelf and a vacuum. Yes Clint.. I now own a vacuum! Hah! We took my new things home and assembled them. It was tough work but fun. I felt like one of these t.v. advertisements or shows where the young married couple is trying to put together an entertainment center and they end up fighting and breaking it. But my bookshelf turned out beautifully and I'm quite pleased with it. It's a deceent bookshelf for being only $25. Now I have more space and am a bit more organized. Yay!

We topped off the evening with a quick dinner at Taco Bell and watching the movie, The Descent. Now, I can't say that the movie was good, but it wasn't bad either. It was definately wierd, kind of creepy, funny at some points because it was so strange and unbelievable, and interesting. It also wasn't very consistent in certain aspects. But the movie had great shock spots with things jumping out unexpectantly and gore. There was good action and intensity along with suspense and killing. Lots of gore. Not too much but good. I mean, the main girl swims and hides in a pool of blood. She walks around in shock which is very Carrie-esque and in some ways, The Descent had a very "Aliens" feel. Though I don't suggest everyone rush out to see the movie, if you have any inkling to go see it, then do.

We had a wonderful time and it was good to see CJ. I hope that we'll be able to do more fun stuff together in the future. I really appreciate all that he's done for me. CJ is a great friend and deserves the best.

Currently listening : Europa By The Covenant Release date: By 13 July, 1999

Am I Really So Brave?

For as long as I can remember I've been traveling, with my family, on my own. When I was born my parents moved us up to Indy, when I was 9 we moved back to Texas. In between I made many trips to Pennsylvania to see my grandparents, I road with Mom and Dad to Lubbock to see my other grandparents, and we always took family road trips. They were always fun and we got to see a lot of America. I cant' even count the times we've been to Florida, out West, and up to Penn. Mom and Dad took us to Cancun once, and I got to accompany them to Hawaii.

Once I graduated Highschool, I spent my first undergrad semester at OU (Univ. of Oklahoma) after spending three weeks in England. I moved back home though and commuted to Denton to UNT. I eventually moved to Denton to finish my last year of Undergrad.

That summer I spent it working with my friend Angie in California. We got there via road trip with my family seeing the Petrified Forest, the Grand Canyon, the Hoover Dam, Vegas, and Death Valley. I moved out to Illinois for Grad. school. Probably one of my biggest moves yet which is where I currently reside. I did this summer move out to NY for a couple months, stopping in Pittsburgh to once again see my family.

It's interesting.. I've traveled a lot. And I love it. I love the feel of the open road, the wind blowing in my hair, the radio blasting, with nothing to hold me down except perhaps a speed limit. There is something so freeing and so exhiliarating about driving. I feel so much power, like I can do anything! It's kind of like what Jack Sparrow says in Pirates.. it's Freedom. My blueberry.. my getaway car, is essentially my Black Pearl.

Though being here with my grandmother and aunt, they keep telling me how brave I am. Everytime we run into an old family friend, they comment on how I've got guts to travel to new places all alone. I drive wherever I want to go and take chances. I'm not afraid to go somewhere and I have plans of visiting many other places. They just go on and on about my 'bravery'. But I don't think I'm really that brave. The first night in NY I was scared out of my mind. I felt like Tom Hanks in that movie Big when he spends his first night in that creepy old apartment. I got over it though. God strengthened me and I knew he'd be with me.

I do feel proud of who I've become. Alot of that strength and the spirit to adventure comes from my mother. She's moving around much more than me. She's in a new city practically every month! I totally take after my mother. And at the same time, I feel sad for my grandmother and aunt. They never leave. I suppose they're satisfied with Pittsburgh, but they are too scared to leave and explore somewhere else. They wouldn't even come down to Dallas to see me graduate. Will they be willing to come to my wedding if ever I get married?

I truly believe they are missing out on so many wonderful experiences and sights. God made this Earth a wonderous place for us to explore and enjoy. But we can't do that simply sitting at home. We have to get out there and trust that he'll lead us to the right places! Here's to all you who love the thrill of the road, who go beyond the norm of staying in your hometown, and to all the ladies working and surviving on their own!

Leaving New York Current mood: touched I can not believe that two months has already flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was staying in a little hotel room, scared to death in Poughkeepsie. I was worried that I wouldn't fit in, worried that I wouldn't be able to do the job, worried that I was too inexperienced. Getting set up and ready to go was so akward and I had to be strong and just suck it up. So many faces.. I couldn't even remember them all. I just wanted to set up my little apartment. Heh... I hated it as soon as I walked in. It was so trashy and so gross, but doable for the next two months. I met me roommate Megan and she was so nice. We got along great and we would talk about books, religion, family, and such while everyone else sat at the picnic table drinking and recounting their theatre tales.But soon we lost our shyness and soon we were out there enjoying the company of everyone else. Well.. to an extent! There were a few people I just couldn't stand and it seemed as though most of the conversations always ended back at Penis Size. hahaha. I've learned so much over this summer. Perhaps not about Costuiming so much but about life and about people. I've had to become so patient, so calm, so forgiving, and so much more open. I have regained a sense of wonder and appreciation for the life and world around us. I once more see the magic that is in everything. I'd forgotten my childhood friends of fairies and dragons. Life again holds a sort of enchanment, excitement, and joy thanks to Patt, my supervisor. I've come to appreciate people and be more tolerant of others. I've questioned so much about my religion and discovered so much more. I'm still learning, still trying to understand. For example... Patrick. Patrick became one of my best friends in New York. He is a props guy. He's super fun. He also happens to be gay. In christianity we're taught to love the sinner, hate the sin. And in christianity, homosexuality is a sin. Being republican I've always been against same-sex marriages and things along those lines. Believing that homosexuality is a choice. Now.. my mind is boggled and in a complete state of confusion. I see Patrick and how much he loves and cares for his Boyfriend and I wonder. Aren't we supposed to love one another? How can love be wrong? Aren't we all humans? Don't we all deserve the same things as the next person? Who am I to deny someone the right to marriage? Who am I to deny someone the chance to love and have a family? ... Patrick is awesome and he like everyone else deserves the best. The conflict within my heart and mind are raging. I'm not quite sure what to believe. Somehow.. somewhere.. someone is wrong and someone is right. But who? The shows were awesome. I met some great people. I met some horrible ones too. But each show was important and touched me in some form or another. I saw and worked on shows that I know someday will be on Broadway. I'm glad to have worked on them and to be exposed to such interesting minds. I was watching a movie the other night and laughed when i recognized someone I had met over the summer. I'm three degrees seperated from Will Ferrel and Ben Stiller. hahaha. The friends I made though were the most important. So many, I can't even begin to name them. Some I know better than others, some i'd like to get to know better. Sadly I might never see some of them again. It's bittersweet these summer theatre programs. You become so close to people, and before you know it, you're pulled away. I'll miss them all so much. I hope that our paths cross once again. But we had some good times. We had some wild and crazy times. We had some hard times. They were all worth it.

Fleet-ish
Current mood: amused

Fleet-ish (n) : A manner of speaking when drunk or under the influence characterized by loud and prolonged vocalizations.

David Fleet is a sound guy. He worked for NYSAF along with the rest of us. He... is an interesting guy. I did not converse with Fleet, as we called him, because well... I really felt no need to. In his own way he was kind of attractive, but he smoked a lot, drank a lot, and just isn't the type of person that I can see myself spending a large amount of time with.

However, during the past couple weeks or so of the season, Fleet caught wind, err.. noticed, me. The first time he spoke with me was after the BBQ and a bunch of us sat out by the picnic table, trying to finish the Keg. Or were there two kegs? I don't remember. Anyways... the group number had dwindled and Fleet sat opposite of me. He looked at me suddenly, his eyes glazed over with too much alcohol, and smiled. I smiled and nodded back at him. He asked what I was thinking about and I said "nothing." He then replied, "you're thinking about my cock aren't you?" Shocked.. I could only reply, "Yes Fleet. Yes I am." He smiled, laughed, and then proceeded to get me to try to go back with him to his place.

A few nights later, he tried again. However, during that evening He couldn't even remember my name. Yeah.. that's going to make me want to sleep with him. This time I informed him I am a virgin, which seemed to only intensify his desire for me instead of defering it. I still refused and quickly left.

Another evening, he asked again and again.. and again. But again, I rebuffed his offer and decided to call it a night.

The last night before we all left Poughkeepsie, I was hitting it off really well with a lighting guy, Erin. Very sweet guy. But his supervisor took a turn for the worst and wound up puking all over our friend Amber's kitchen. So Erin and Will, another lighting guy, left to take care of him, ensuring they'd return. Before I knew it, Fleet, being ridiculously drunk, planted himself next to me, pulled me next to him, and began to try and sweet talk me.
I could barely understand what he was trying to say. Next thing I knew, he grabbed my ass and I pushed him and yelled at him. The picnic table got very quiet. Yet he insisted and continued to pursue me. I didn't mind as long as he kept his hands in check. I figured, better me than some poor other girl. At least I could keep him somewhat under control.
As the evening wore on though, more and more people started to disappear and I was worried Erin would not return. I didn't want to go to bed because this was the last evening I'd get to spend with Erin and Will. So I stayed.
When I thought I could take it no more, Fleet attached to me like a piece of plastic wrap, kissing my neck, and squeezing me tight, Erin, Will, and Dan showed up. They quickly understood that I needed help and didn't want Fleet all over me. Will signaled for me to make a run for with them. I pushed Fleet over where he quickly passed out and we booked it!

I kind of feel sorry for Fleet. He made a bad decision in trying to get me to sleep with him. He isn't that bad looking of a guy he just needs to change his lifestyle up a bit. He needs to learn some respect for women and cool it on the drinking and smoking. I have to give him props though, he has some great music. I'm hoping he'll put it up on Myspace soon and I hope he does well whereever he goes. Maybe we'll run into each other again, though hopefully while he's sober. Heh.. goodluck Fleet.